Untouched by Hallmark

One of the first tasks we had to address upon arriving in Hermosillo was to get a 40th birthday card for our brother-in-law. (For once, I actually planned ahead better than Natalie as I bought my Dad's birthday card in the States and left it at home to make sure it would get there on time.)

We stopped at a Wal Mart thinking it is an American chain, so it probably has everything American Wal Mart's have. And there indeed was a greeting card section, but the organization is, well, different. There were four types of envelopes - pink medium and pink large and blue medium and blue large. And they were all over the place.

The card selection itself was sparse, mixed up and generally poor. Cards had smudges and corners were tattered. We settled for a few blank inside cards, though we might have been better off making something at home. People should be expecting e-cards from us in the future.

Though we did find that the Sears here does have a much better card selection. Sears is a department store here - something between Kohl's and Macy's.

Natalie had more luck finding a card.

But alas, I'm not cable of driving to Sears by myself yet, so I had to turn to the slightly-better-than-Wal Mart selection at one of our grocery stores to get a card for our anniversary, which is today. Sadly, I couldn't find card and flowers on the list of year-appropriate anniversary gifts, but we just got back from Mexico City and spent a considerable amount on an obsidian Aztec God bust; plus it is just too hard for me to shop here right now.

I planned ahead to cover the month of August, but I should have bought cards to cover the rest of the year before coming to Hermosillo. Surprise, surprise, all of the cards are in Spanish.

Fortunately, I've been here long enough to know some words. For example, I know what Happy Birthday looks like, so I was able to eliminate them, though I did have my eyes on a couple that looked appropriate (they were flowery) if I couldn't find anything else. But then I saw the keeper - one that said Love on the front. I skimmed for familiar words in the inside to make sure I didn't find concubina or something else offensive when I came across "congratulations." A wedding card, apparently (later confirmed), but close enough. And other than that final word, everything else was very much appropriate for an anniversary.

Seriously, would you buy Hallmark cards,
if you knew this guy founded the chain?

From the best I can tell, Hermosillo, and possibly the rest of Mexico, has not embraced the greeting card. Apparently Joyce Hall and his brood do not have this country's male population by the balls like they do in America.

But alas, there is some expectation to have cards for some events, so the next time we work our way north to Tucson, I'll be card-loading to get me through 2011.

Administrative Note and More Bullets!

I've been getting a few new faces stopping by here, and so I thought I'd probably clarify my position on the Comments section.

The way I see it, the Comments section is for the readers' use. Generally, it is anything goes unless I start getting really terrible, hateful comments or if I start getting spam. At that point, I'll reassess the posting process, but let's hope I don't have to cross that bridge.

Also, because I view the Comments section as your territory, I generally do not comment in that section. My feeling is that I've already stated my opinions or views on the topic, and I don't want to be trying to get the last word in. That said, I'll post in the Comments if someone asks me a question directly or if it is apparent people are not understanding my message.

But I do read all of your comments, and they are much appreciated. I enjoy getting some of these conversations started. I also receive e-mail notices when a new comment is left, so even if you are commenting on a really old posting, I still am aware of it.

Now, on to some bullets:

• It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas here. There has been a ground/surface/sea packages spotting in Nogales, and the sleigh...er...truck is loaded and ready to make the trek south. Just because they are a bunch of sadists, they are making us wait until Monday to deliver the goods. I assume it works this way at all posts, but Natalie will take a Home-unpacking Holiday Event (HHE...dead to me, except when it is a holiday) on Monday. There will be dancing in the streets! And coffee for everyone!

• Today is the day I've been dreading ever since right before we left Crystal City for the long drive southwest. On just about the last day possible, I got a very short haircut, secretly hoping it would last two years. Alas, I made it almost two months, but I concede it is time. For my entire childhood and into young adulthood, only one man cut my hair. It was a bit of a traumatic experience when I went to college and finally had to get someone else to do the job. It almost felt like I was cheating on my barber. Then I moved to D.C., and for the first time, I had a woman cutting my hair. Another unnerving event for me. But today, when one of Natalie's colleagues takes me to visit Miss Arizona (not the beauty-queen contestant, I assume), it will be the first time I will get my hair cut by someone who doesn't speak English. Maybe I just need to shave myself bald and avoid this stress.

• Here's a little leftover item from looking back at our arrival here. Would it be too much to ask to get the Internet ball rolling before we arrive. I'm guessing in some of these developing nation posts, there is probably only a single provider, so there really isn't any reason why someone at post can't make the necessary phone calls or whatever so the Internet will be waiting on us instead of vice versa. We actually had two options here, sorta. There are two providers, but if you want anything close to American service, you have to go through TelMex. And TelMex has three plans, but if you want anything close to American service, you have to buy the most expensive plan (about $85 USD per month). Still, we didn't have to wait terribly long - less than a week - but still, this seems like an unnecessary amount of dead time.

• Google AdSense received Strike 1 a few days ago. The ads, apparently, aren't the same depending on where you are reading from, so what I see here in Mexico can be different than what you see in the States or where ever else you might be. But I saw an ad for a quasi-religious group that almost made me pull the plug on this operation. Without repeating its name and accidentally give Google an excuse to hit me with it again, it is a group that serves Hollywood types that believe you have to give the organization money to learn stuff. Oh, and it was founded by a former Si-Fi writer; if you need more clues, Tom Cruise is a member. Anyway, in case anyone else noticed this, let me say that I do not endorse said group, and I will trying to see if I can't block future ads from them.

• Mexican culture, like several European cultures, dictates that when a woman is involved in a greeting, there is cheek-to-cheek air kissing. A little awkward, but when in Rome, right? I still find myself forgetting time to time and there is either an awkward pause before I remember my manners, or an even more awkward handshake only because I forgot my manners altogether. That is when I greet a Mexican woman. What is the protocol for greeting an American woman in Mexico? I've seen Natalie's male colleagues approach it either or, so I suppose it is a preference thing.

• Finally, I think a marketing genius invented the slogan, "It's a dry heat." This is the first or second most common marketing expression I've heard, with "What Happens in Vegas" being in the running as well. So in D.C., the summer is high 80s to low 90s (barring a heat wave) and humid. And it is miserable to go outside. You feel like you are getting steamed. Here, it is mid 100s to mid 110s (barring a heat wave) with just a little humidity (we are in the rainy season, after all), and it is miserable to go outside. You feel like you are getting baked. So either way, you're cooked and better off staying inside, which, by the way, is what most people do here in the late morning through early afternoon. So much for that dry heat baloney.

Hodge Podge Kind of a Day II

So much to say without any real theme to link it altogether. If only there was some sort of format that would allow for me to jump from one topic to the next without having to worry about transitions...Oh wait! There is. You get more bullets!

• Leading into this move, I was worried how Tiffy would cope with everything, especially the heat. As last reported in Crystal City, she adopted the Sheraton as our new home rather quickly. She also fared pretty well during our series of one-night stays. I wish I knew what she thought of this place. She knows the neighborhood pretty well including all of the homes that have dogs. And we do lots of exploring during our morning walk outside the gates. This morning, we went a long walk, and I thought it wiped her out. But when we got home, she was really frisky, grabbed a tennis ball and sprinted around our dining room table (Though that is her collapsed on the kitchen floor a few moments later). She hasn't gotten to do much sprinting in a long time, so I think she really needed to stretch out. As for the heat, we do well in the mornings and evenings. The afternoons can be dreadful, and what used to be a 30 minute walk is sometimes reduced to about 10 minutes - with breaks.

• Speaking of Tiffy, I had occupied myself before leaving with getting Tiffy's paperwork together. Boy am I glad. I don't think anyone even knew we had a dog in the car. If they did, they sure as hell didn't care. Though I suppose had I not done all of the paperwork, they certainly would have asked for it. Sort of like a few years ago, my dad bought a snow blower. It didn't snow for several years after that, so in essence, the thing did its job: it kept the snow away.

• Tea is okay, but it is a poor substitute for coffee.

• Verizon is on the verge of joining Papa John's on our very short, Do-Not-Patronize List. Natalie sent them an e-mail earlier this week asking them to cancel our plan, which is currently on a month-by-month basis. Sorry, we need to talk to you on the phone to do that. Okay, but we are in Mexico; our phones only serve as time pieces and paper weights. All, but wait. Call this magic number and your phone will work from any where, they say. Natalie called the number. You don't have to be Nostradamus to have predicted that didn't work. Fine, you can cancel via e-mail, but not until this billing cycle is through. Oh, and thank you for your five years of patronage, please consider us when you move back to the States. Here's the problem, Verizon, unlike Mexico, the U.S. has several cell phone providers, so (ear muffs), Fuck Off! (sorry about that)

• Did anyone know Mexico refers to itself as the United States of Mexico? How many united states are there throughout the world?

• I imagine every country is this way, but many Internet sites are in Spanish unless I use a different URL. For example, if I type www.yahoo.com, I go to Mexico's Yahoo! page. To get the English version, it is http://us.yahoo.com. I even had to adjust blogger's dashboard settings back to English.

• And finally, this never gets old to me. Any idea who the largest bakery in the world is? Bimbo. This brand, which is the only brand I buy here, also owns American brands Arnold, Boboli and Wonder and even Thomas English Muffins. On top of that, the American division of Bimbo is Bimbo Bakeries USA. I guess no one had the cajones to mention to them the way Americans use the term "bimbo." And like NASCAR drivers, sports teams here plaster sponsorship on their jerseys, so there are three Mexican soccer jerseys with BIMBO in big red letters on them.

And there you have it. Feels good to have gotten all of that out there.

"Welcome to Hermosillo, This Way to Your Cell"

Mexico is a dangerous place these days.

Just before we started our journey, we were greeted with this news about a gang fight outside Nogales (where we crossed the border) resulting in 21 dead. The cynical (i.e. Me) wouldn't be too upset by this news as it does not appear any innocents were harmed. In my book, this is somewhat akin to Taliban and al Qaeda killing each other. We should be so fortunate - no tears were lost by me.

And then during our first weekend here, the big news was the car bomb triggered in Juarez (can't pronounce Juarez without "War").

Perhaps coincidentally, less than two weeks after the Nogales incident (but before the latest in war-zone-esque Juarez), the State Department issued yet another travel advisory in Mexico. I'll outline some highlights of this lengthy report:

Common-sense precautions such as visiting only legitimate business and tourist areas during daylight hours, and avoiding areas where criminal activity might occur, can help ensure that travel to Mexico is safe and enjoyable.

Continued concerns regarding road safety along the Mexican border have prompted the U.S. Mission in Mexico to impose certain restrictions on U.S. government employees transiting the area. Effective July 15, 2010, Mission employees and their families may not travel by vehicle across the U.S.-Mexico border to or from any post in the interior of Mexico...This policy does not apply to employees and their family members assigned to border posts (Tijuana, Nogales, Ciudad Juarez, Nuevo Laredo, and Matamoros), although they may not drive to interior posts as outlined above.

And finally, the one of most interest to me:

Travel is permitted between Hermosillo and Nogales, but not permitted from Hermosillo to any other interior posts.

Not sure if your familiar with the Mexican map, but there is nothing of interest along the road between Nogales and Hermosillo. We can't drive east or south due to this most recent travel advisory. Fortunately, we can still go west to the beaches, but I imagine we are one incident away from losing that privilege as well.

As a reference, I've brought back this Mexican crime map from an earlier post. Sonora, the state we live in now, is the big yellow one in the upper left. Working your way right, you have the more dangerous, reddish states of Chihuahua, Coahuila de Zaragoza and Tamaulipas. The yellow state south of Sonora is Sinaloa, which probably has been upgraded to reddish now.

One of the other diplomats pointed out that this city has become very isolated and hard to get in and out of. Welcome to Hermosillo, Africa.

Hermosillo itself is not that dangerous in terms of drug-trade-related crime. The city has your typical big city petty crime such as pick-pockets, burglary, etc. Some one told us it used to be the case that the drug lords had an understanding of sorts to keep the drug fighting out of this city because many of the lords have families in Hermosillo. Sure, let the thugs off each other in other parts of Mexico (Juarez), but let's not let it effect our families. But even that understanding is starting to wear off as there has been some drug-related violence here.

In my last post I lavished praise on our house. And I do love this house. But what I saved for today is that these homes are designed to keep intruders out, which has the flip effect of being difficult for us to get out.

I don't want to go into too much details about the security measures here for fear that could upset some of the government types, but we have bars in our windows and doorways. We have spikes and nasty barbed wire on walls. We have security systems. We have secret handshakes. We don't mess around when it comes to security.

Mi Casa es muy Awesome!

The Internet is up courtesy of the good people at TelMex (and the very rich Carlos Slim, a catchy name) and a little up from Natalie's sponsor. I assume this goes for all posts, but the posts assigns a sponsor to help with the moving in process and another to help with the moving out process.

See, I'm already getting distracted with side stories. So much to relay, but for now, let's focus on the house.

Apparently, Hermosillo post housing is suppose to be some of the nicer housing for diplomats. No complaints here. We arrived to find three bedrooms, three and a half bathrooms (sort of), a kitchen, dining room, living room, greeting room (foyer?), garage, laundry room, reading room, walk-in closet, garden room and what we believe to be a live-in maid quarters. Until this past Thursday, we always lived in one-bedroom apartments together.

Before we really get into the tour, first it is time to discredit some fool's knowledge.

MYTH NUMERO UNO:
There are no carpets in diplomat homes in Mexico, so buy rugs unless you want to walk around on tile floors all day.


False. We were pleasantly surprised to find a lot of carpet in our home including in the foyer, dining room (above), master bedroom, the reading room and Natalie's walk-in closet. The only downside of so much carpet is that it might be difficult to find space for the huge rug we bought before moving out.

MYTH NUMERO DOS:
Bathtubs don't exist in Mexico.

False. The bathroom attached to the master bedroom has a bathtub/shower.

MYTH NUMERO TRES:
There is little to no grass in Hermosillo.

Partially false. There definitely is very little grass around here, but we managed to score a backyard that does have grass. At one time, more of the diplomatic housing around here had grass, but after years and years of diplomats failing to take care of their yards and not hiring someone to do it, the landlords started to pave over the yards.

In addition to grass, we love that our backyard has a palm tree, a pink-flowered bush that attracts humming birds, and a built-in, out-door grill. We bought some tiki torches as well.

One of the challenges about living in a new home - especially a home you know you have to give back in two years - is making it yours.

One thing we did was take the bed out of one of the two guest bedrooms and turn it into a study. And now we have one guest bedroom with two twin beds in it.

We also converted the maid's quarters into a room for Tiffy's stuff. Even if we needed a live-in maid, I couldn't imagine asking him/her to live there. There are no air conditioning vents making the room very warm, and the attached bathroom has a toilet and shower but no sink (the sort-of whole bathroom). Granted there are plenty of sinks around the house, but the one person who should have clean hands would be the live-in maid.

We still have a lot to do to make this house our home, but that will have to wait until our ground/surface/sea shipment (EF'M no longer recognizes the term HHE) arrives. For example, the television room is used more for now to house our empty boxes, the kitchen, while huge, doesn't have any of my gadgets in it, we have no pictures, and we just haven't lived here long enough to make this feel like our home as opposed to guests.

Internet Withdrawal

So we made it. It is as hot as advertised in Hermosillo.

It's way too early to comment on the city as I've seen very little thus far. Thursday, the day of our arrival, was filled with a long drive south through Mexico, which really didn't look too different than from southern New Mexico and southern Arizona. By the way, the scenery in the southern part of those states can be very pretty - from a distance. Once you are in the middle of the brush, it isn't so attractive. But then you look further down the road and see the mountains, and it looks pretty again. And then you get there, and it is all brush. So the scenery is pretty from a distance. Perhaps that should be their mottos - "Southern New Mexico and Southern Arizona, Pretty from a Distance."

The biggest difference on the drive are the topes, which roughly translates as "hazardous, mountainous speed bumps on the highway." The highway is a dangerous drive not just because there is the threat of cartel hooligans, but because there are some hazardous turns, no shoulders, and the topes, which are even more dangerous at night.

After the drive, we reached our home, which was an overwhelming experience. There were a few Americans there from the office to greet us as well as a few Friends Supporting Nicely (FSNs) who unloaded our air freight (EF'M no longer recognizes the term UAB) in our living room. Lots of activity as God's Servent Overseas (GSO, who also was the one who escorted us from the border, not the secruity officer as I falsely reported before) explained the security features; Tiffy was running all over the place; boxes were being unloaded; and, oh yeah, I was taking in the new home. It is a great home though - a huge step-up from the couple of one-bedroom apartments we've lived in. I'll write more on our home later.

Everyone then left as we unloaded our car, got cleaned and then went out with most of the American officers for tacos. I feel a little guilty because we are surrounded by tacos, which I like, but not nearly as much as others might.

I was busy all day Friday unpacking, and then we attended a baby shower for one of the FSNs and had more tacos. Saturday was spent grocery shopping and picking up a few other odds and ends. And finally, Sunday, today, I got a taste of the Internet.

The biggest change thus far has been the lack of Internet. It isn't just about blogging, either (sorry faithful readers). I miss e-mail. I miss reading sports columns. I really miss sports in general. I miss updating my fantasy baseball roster (though my team seems to be doing fine without me).

And now that I'm in Mexico, the Internet will be playing an even greater role in my life as it will serve as a phone as well. I plan to Skype more with my family and friends. I'm going to hook up a Magic Jack to do work.

But alas, we are still some time away from getting the Internet to our home. Currently, I'm relying on the bread crumbs that fall from the tables of other American diplomats and their generosity to muster up enough time to put this blog entry together.

I hope this update is enough to hold you over for a little bit, as I'll likely go back into hibernation for a few days (or longer, gasp) until we get the Internet.

On the Verge

EL PASO - I'll keep this short, but we're on our way out of Texas (finally), and we cross the border tomorrow.

It has been a long, four-day, 2,000-mile, eight-state journey thus far that has included a couple of stops with family and a couple of stops in La Quintas across Texas.

The end is near, but we had a few loose ends to tie up in El Paso before we could leave Texas once and for all. By the way, after we drove through Odessa and before we reached El Paso, there exists about 250 miles of desolation. A couple of small town-gas station stops, a couple of mountain ranges and a lot of sand and brush. Nothing else. I hope I never need to drive through west Texas again. No offense to west Texans.

Our chief reason for stopping in El Paso was to visit the Border Patrol to interview for our SENTRI skip-the-border-crossing-lane pass. Our appointment was for 8 a.m., and we were staying about 10 miles from the Border Patrol building we were to meet at. Deciding to play it safe, we left around 7:15 a.m., and it was good that we did because we needed a little extra time to find our way around the Border Patrol compound.

Still, we got there about 20 minutes early, and thus began the waiting process. This is where the Border Patrol morphs into the DMV. But with shorter, slower moving lines.

We signed in at 8 a.m. and waited 30 minutes until I got summoned to meet with a Border Patrol officer. He went through my documents, took my fingerprints and photo and interviewed me. It took about 30 more minutes. Then Natalie had about a 15-minute interview - shorter due to the fact that our officer did not need to double up on some of the information.

He was nice enough, though he seemed a bit shocked that neither of us have ever been to Mexico before. He asked both of us several times about different cities in Mexico and if we'd ever been to them.

Then back to the waiting room for another five or so minutes to fork over almost $200 for the SENTRI passes (we were both approved). Then another short wait to get our car inspected. Our appointment was for 8 a.m.; we left at 10 a.m.

We got our first look across the border and our first Border Patrol experience. We're excited about crossing tomorrow, and our future ex-pat comrades are excited to receive us. We're going out for tacos tomorrow night with them!

This probably closes the book on pre-post EF'M. I have to imagine the next time I post, it will be from Hermosillo.

Recalibrating Normal

The past week, well, the past few months, have been all sorts of different.

It seems as though we always are coming or going, or going and coming, hosting guests or parties, or being guests somewhere or the guests of honor at a party. Non-stop since Natalie passed her Spanish test.

I found myself doing some dishes in the midst of the pandemonium , warn out, and thinking to myself, "I can't wait until things finally settle down some and return to normal."

As soon as that thought crossed my mind, it quickly was replaced with the thought that my old sense of normal is probably obsolete. I need to recalibrate my sense of normal.

Between now and June 30, when the movers come, we will be busy preparing for the pack out as well as tying up a few loose ends.

After June 30, life definitely won't be normal because all of our things will be gone, and we'll be living out of suitcases in a hotel within view of our old apartment, which will be empty save for a few cleaning and painting supplies.

Then there is the six-day drive to Mexico.

And then a new life awaits south of the border in a land in which I won't be able to talk to the vast majority of the people and the temperature will be flirting with 120 degrees F. And that will be as close to my old version of normal as I will come for the next two years, so in order to avoid depression and the fear of the unknown, I'll be needing to rethink normal.

At least I am conscious of all of these changes. Poor Tiffy is about to go through all of these changes without any concept of what the hell is going on.

EFM: Exodus Finalization in Motion

UPDATE
Apologies to anyone who was drawn into believing the below statement about VP Biden calling us. It was a joke playing on this gaffe.

ORIGINAL POST
A big thank you to all of the well wishers from yesterday's big announcement. Natalie was flattered. In fact, we received a phone call from no one less than our illustrious veep, Joe Biden, himself who wanted to tell Natalie that her achievement was "a big effin deal."

But now we have to start looking forward to the next steps. And they are many.

We need to prep for pack-out by taking our own inventory of our stuff and then mark with different colored post-its to indicate which shipment the items are going. We also need to do a dry run of packing our car before the movers get here so we know what we can take.

Tiffy is going back to the groomer to get her desert-style haircut - short enough to keep her relatively cool, but long enough to protect her skin from the sun. Though Tiffy and I have discussed this, and we've both determined that from about 11 a.m. to about 5 p.m., we are just going to lay naked and sprawled on the floor to keep cool.

I also need to get a copy of Tiffy's immunization records while we ourselves still need to get our shots to go to Mexico.

I'm still finalizing our driving route to post, and we are in the middle of the application process for a SENTRI pass. We know my disdain for acronyms, but a brief round of applause for this clever, cool-sounding name. Though I'm pretty certain the Border Patrol was hell bent on using SENTRI or SENTRY for this pass, and then just decided what the letters would stand for after the fact. They came up with Secure Electronic Network for Travelers' Rapid Inspection, so yeah, it is kind of a long way of describing a border SmartPass. Still, I'm a fan of this acronym, though I'm a little skeptical that such a program is a good idea. I'll need to experience a border crossing, but it seems that in matters of entering the United States, we should all just accept the fact that it is going to be a hassle in the name of national security.

One last note on the SENTRI pass. There is a 66-page instruction manual on how to fill out the application. Filling out the application took me about 30 minutes as there are several steps, but 66 pages of instructions seemed a bit excessive. After all, our state department friends already in Hermosillo were able to sum up what we can expect life to be like there for two years in a 66-page welcome manual.

We also need to make our final purchases before pack-out, which includes a new television. If I'm going to be watching people I don't understand on TV, I would at least like it to be on a large flat screen instead of my "3D" TV that I bought right before I started my freshmen year of college. I call it "3D" because the screen is rounded out...do they even make TV sets like that anymore?

And yes, that is soccer...er...futbol on my TV screen. I confess I've been drawn to watching these games, or at least have the TV set to these games while I go about my business. I've been watching/listening to the games on InVision (not Telemundo as I errantly said last time) because I love listening to the excitement by the announcers. I don't care who wins, just as long as there are many goals scored because listening to the announcers celebrate every goal like the team just won the championship makes me smile. Sadly, most games have been 0-0, 1-0 or 1-1, which makes for a lot of down time between goals.

We also need to load up on other items such as peanut butter, dog treats, cleaning supplies and toilet paper. I am fearful of a world in Mexico in which all they sell is single ply as we've been warned that the quality is not the same. That, and I've seen on TV that Americans use more pounds of toilet paper per person than any other country. Rationalizing, I figure that is because we use more double ply than the rest of the world, but that is merely speculation.

So we still have a lot on our plate. Yeah, the hard stuff is over Natalie, but we'd be kidding ourselves to think that everything else will fall into place on its own.

FIFA Copa Mundial

A quick note about yesterday's post, and then I'll move onto a more pleasant topic - today's World Cup kick-off pitting Mexico against host-nation South Africa.

I fear I may have come across a little arrogant in the end. I don't expect to be America's border expert after having spent two years in Mexico. I mostly just wanted to say that I disagree with Arizona law, but I do agree that there is a problem - either actual or perceived - with what is going on at the border. And that this problem really sucks for me because I'm assuming will make my stay in Mexico a little less pleasant if not more dangerous.

OK. Soccer...er...futbol time. I have to admit I don't really understand soccer...er...futbol, and the World Cup, while apparently a feel-good tournament for the rest of the world, tends to fall on deaf ears here in the United States. Nevertheless, in my attempt to start adapting to Mexican culture a bit, I'm going to make myself sit through an entire soccer...er...futbol game.

To capture the excitement of the moment, I've decided to channel my inner Bill Simmons, of ESPN, and provide a streaming timeline of the game as I watch from home somewhat similar to what I did during the snowstorm. My early predictions, a lot of boredom but a high scoring game in which Mexico wins 2-0. And to make it a little more interesting, I've got a bottle of tequila in the fridge to celebrate every Mexican goal. Go Mexico!

10:05 a.m. EST - Kick-off, and the game is underway. Before the game got started, they sang national anthems of both countries, and it makes me sad that our national anthem sucks so much. Mexico and South Africa have much better anthems, and so does most every other country, at least of the ones I've heard.

Tiffy was very nervous for the start of the game.

10:07 a.m. - Mexico was on the attack early and had a shot at scoring a quick goal. By the way, it is worth mentioning that there is a constant buzz during the game provided by 80,000 fans blowing horns so that it sounds like a swarm of bees. You have to appreciate how much the rest of the world loves soccer...er...futbol and how dedicated the fans are. At U.S. sporting events, about half the fans are interested in the game, and the other half interested in something else - usually beer. And if it is a baseball game, it is more like 20% or less are interested in the game.

10:12 a.m. - The first penalty was called and it just reminds me how little I understand about soccer...er...futbol. I played when I was young, and I even reffed little kids' games, but I have no idea what constitutes a penalty in professional soccer...er...futbol.

10:21 a.m. - Another penalty called - this one against Mexico resulting in a free kick against the Mexican goal (but not a penalty kick), which went high. The penalty was called as a result of a great flop by the South African player. Soccer...er...futbol players are some of the best actors.

10:22 a.m. - First yellow card given. Surprise, it was against a Mexican player named Juarez. Go figure.

10:32 a.m. - A yellow card against South Africa. Boredom is starting to set in. Even Tiffy isn't immuned to it. I need to take a bathroom break from all the coffee I used to start the day. Hope I don't miss anything

10:37 a.m. - Didn't miss anything, and I got back in time to see Mexico somehow miss a shot that should have made it 1-0. By the way, at this pace, the score will be 0-0.

10:42 a.m. - Some excitement as Mexico scored a goal on a corner kick, but the refs feared the game might get too exciting and called offsides. On the replay, and as the announcers pointed out, it was impossible to be offsides as South Africa had a defender standing on the baseline. So it would be impossible for a player to be behind him.

10:50 a.m. - One of the aspects I hate about soccer...er...futbol is that the game clock says 45 minutes, which is supposed to be halftime. But no, only the officials are privy to the actual game time. This is one reason why this sport will never catch on here.

10:51 a.m. - Real halftime now. The announcers said Mexico should be 2-0 or 2-1, but I think they forgot this is a soccer...er...futbol match. Two or three goals in one half just isn't in the cards.

There have been a few excitement moments in the game thus far, but then there will be 15 minutes of the ball at midfield that boring.

Living in the U.S.A. definitely has played a role in my malaise toward soccer...er...futbol. It is common to hear that because we have football, baseball and basketball, our population has other sports to follow instead of soccer...er...futbol. But I don't think that is true.

Americans have never been interested in soccer...er...futbol. Ever. We invented other sports to fill the void.

There is a famous story from World War I in which the Germans and British stopped fighting one Christmas Day and started playing soccer...er...futbol instead. Kind of reminds me of the old expression, "I went to fight and a hockey game broke out." Make a few subsitutions, and you have this: "The world was at war, and a soccer...er...futbol match broke out."

Anyway, in our history, we have a similar story, sort of. During the Civil War, when the northern troops had some down time, they also partook in sporting events. But they played the newly created game of baseball instead.

11:07 a.m. - Second half begins.

11:12 a.m. - Following up on a tip from the comments section, I checked the Wikipedia entry on offsides. And it appears she is right. Behind two defenders, not one. I've lost my faith in ESPN soccer...er...futbol analysts. I think I need to switch to Telemundo for the rest of this game.

11:16 a.m. - Goala! South Africa!

11:17 a.m. - Scoring is such a rarity in soccer...er...futbol that even the Mexican analsysts on Telemundo are going crazy shouting "Goala!" at least a dozen times. Sometimes holding it for a long time such as "Goooooaallllaaaa!" followed by quick repetition of "Goala! Goala! Goala!"

11:22 a.m. - I've should have been watching on Telemundo the whole time. I have no idea what they are saying, but they are so much more into than the ESPN announcers. Mexico just had another near miss, and the announcers were going crazy again.

11:40 a.m. - "GOALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL....

11:41 a.m. - OLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!" Mexico 1-1.

11:50 a.m. - Almost forgot my celebration shot. The goal seems to have breathed new life into Mexico, which has come close to scoring again. I also need to tip my hat to the announcers for the ability to hold one note for so long while calling a goal!

11:53 a.m. - So I shouldn't have started watching until the second half. The last couple minutes in particular have been frantic with several close shots including a South African shot off the post they should have had.

11:54 a.m. - We are at 90 minutes, but the game continues because of silly onfield time.

11:55 a.m. - Game over. 1-1 tie. Mexico dodged a bullet, as a loss here would have likely been a death blow to their chances of advancing. All in all, it wasn't that bad, but I probably won't watch the entire 90 minutes of a soccer...er...futbol game again. At least not during this World Cup.

EFM: Escalating Friction with Mexico

Does not a week go by in which the American-Mexican border situation worsen?

Last week, I mentioned that I've taken more interest in world affairs as a result of coming acquainted with the foreign service and its diplomats. Naturally, my interest in Mexico is more intense, and there is no shortage of news on that front.

In the latest incident, a U.S. border patrol agent shot a Mexican teen. Any guesses as to where on the border this took place? If you took the safe guess, Juarez (can't pronounce Juarez without "War"), you'd be right.

Closer to our future, temporary home, Arizona is pissing Mexico off (as well as East Coast Democrats) with the law about needing to carry documents proving your American citizenship, which only can lead to the harassment of the Latino population - illegal or otherwise. By the way, you have to love the way the Arizona legislature dressed this one up, as it is officially called the "Support Our Law Enforcement and Safe Neighborhoods Act."

Now I'm not going to pretend to have the answers. In all honesty, I get the arguments the Arizonans are making. There is a border problem, and that state is on the front line. It is easy for Americans far from the border to point at the state and its leaders and call them racists. Though in a bizarre twist, about a dozen states not along the border are introducing similar legislation. (Really Ohio? What, are you trying to keep the Canadians out? Or is this about keeping Kentuckians out? Despite what you might think, Kentucky is part of the Union, and we will continue to cross the river.)

My own opinions are that current situation is like the healthcare bill. I know something has to be done because the current situation can't continue this way, but I also think the passed solutions not only won't improve the situation, but in all likelihood, it will only serve to make things worse.

And with regards to American-Mexican relations, I have a profound interest in how this develops. As tensions between the U.S. Southwest and northern Mexico continue to spiral out of control, and seemingly become more strained every day, spending a couple of years there is not incredibly enticing.

But then there is this article claiming that the four safest cities in the United States are San Diego, El Paso, Phoenix and Austin. Apparently, our recession has made us less desirable to potential illegal immigrants, or so a U.S. Border Patrol spokesman said.

Of course, the Border Patrol has a vested interest in showing it is doing its job. Just as the legislators have a vested interest in claiming a crisis to get more federal funds and pass racist laws under the guise of protecting the local populace.

That article concludes with this quote from Edward Alden, a senior fellow at the Council on Foreign Relations.

"Border security has become the most overused, and least understood, concept in the struggle over what to do about our broken immigration system," he said. "While an election year may not be the best time, the United States finally needs an honest debate over what it means to secure the country's borders."

I certainly can agree with this, and I'm about to get an up-close look at the border as well as what it is like for those on the other side of it. Maybe in two years, I'll have the answer, which might be necessary because I'm fairly certain our government won't.

It's Sure To Be an Adventure

Over the weekend, our great farewell tour continued as we visited Natalie's friends and family in Canton, Ohio, (home of the NFL Hall of Fame and William McKinley).

This was our first mass farewell, and many of the people we visited with, we hadn't seen in nearly a year. As a result, we had a lot of explaining of what lies in store down the road.

After delivering our over-rehearsed, or over-practiced, schpeel, invariably, there were two responses, but they both had one thing in common - the word "adventure."

I thought I knew what adventure meant, but after getting two entirely different meanings of the word over the weekend, I decided I had better brush up on my vocab. So I turned to my trusted Webster.

ad ven ture (ad ven'cher) n. 1 a daring, hazardous undertaking

OK, that meaning definitely makes sense in context. With a look of concern bordering on despair, I've heard this expression several times, "Well, it will be an adventure."

This is the pre-dominant use of adventure when we are in Ohio or Kentucky. You can tell this is a lifestyle they don't comprehend and definitely do not desire. Some have mixed feelings as they think it is a great opportunity to see parts of the world, but the thought of living overseas for years at a time (and in our case, Mexico), is out of the question.

But go back and look at the definition. See it started with a number "1." That means we have a second entry:

2 an unusual, stirring, often romantic experience

Once again, I have definitely picked up on this sentiment from others. "Wow! I'm so jealous. That is going to be an awesome adventure."

While I appreciate the support, this response catches me more off guard than the first. And I think the key is the part of the definition that says "often romantic." I can't help but think they have romanticized our situation too much.

Yeah, they do ask about what Natalie will be doing, but I feel as though they think we are going to be worldwide tourists. Which is definitely not the case; well, at least not for Natalie. She will have a demanding and high stress job while working at the consulate, though for Natalie, there isn't much that doesn't fall into the category of "high stress."

And not to belabor the point, but Hermosillo is not exactly a tourism hot spot.

Like all things, the reality of our adventure falls somewhere in the middle. It definitely has characteristics of a "hazardous undertaking." There is no shortage of recent news articles and television reports proving it. And there is an element of "romanticism" as we set up shop in various countries and get to experience numerous cultures.

I'm just kind of curious what a response in this vein would sound like, because I haven't heard it, yet.

Culture Shock

I was planning on writing this entry today anyway, but I received a somewhat pleasant surprise to find in my inbox this morning a 66-page pdf file entitled Welcome to Hermosillo 2010.

Now, I'm sure Natalie is sitting on pins and needles that I might disclose something in that document that isn't meant to be shared, so I'm going to go ahead and disappoint everyone by promising to keep that document almost entirely sealed. Sorry, but there is just too much paranoia right now to take that route.

I was planning on just tipping my hat to the diplomats of yesteryear and how daunting new post assignments must have been to them.

Can't you just imagine being in the foreign service 100 years ago? "Hey Joe Diplomat, we are sending you to Peking in a month. Here is a copy of The Travels of Marco Polo. I hear the duck is great. Good luck."

Just about everyday since October when we learned we would be going to Hermosillo, I've been researching on the Internet what exactly is in store for me. I realize that this kind of information is only so good, but I have to imagine will cut into the culture shock a bit. That, and the fact that Hermosillo is practically a border town with more American culture present than many other posts.

So then I skimmed through the Hermosillo hand guide this morning for an hour or so, and I started getting a little cold feet. The move to Mexico has lacked teeth; it hasn't seemed like this was something we were actually going to do.

The pdf has ushered in some of that realization. The rest probably won't hit me until we are driving through Arizona.

Now this is the part where I'll share just a little of the info that I read today, though in truth, most of what I'm going to include is stuff we've probably all heard before, and this was merely confirmation. All the same, if Natalie and the State Department would kindly close out of this blog and go do something more productive, that would much appreciated.

First, the Mexican police really do suggest bribes in lieu of tickets. Similarly, don't part with your licenses, passports, etc. In fact, don't even drive with your passport in your car; rather, keep a copy.

While it is better not to drink local tap, Hermosillo is better than most of Mexico in that you can wash dishes with it. I've been practicing not drinking water when we go out to restaurants. "Would you like a glass of water, too?" "No thanks. I'm moving to Mexico. I'm trying to quit."

The heat is scary. The locals say Hermosillo has nine months of winter and three months of hell. But still, for those inclined to feel cold (read as, my wife), they suggest space heaters for winter nights.

Mexican schedules are intimidating. They start the day "early" though that makes sense because it is so hot. By the way, the guide considers starting the work day at 8 a.m. as early. When I did work, that is when my work day started, so I don't think of 8 a.m. as early. But then things get interesting. Morning runs til 1-2 p.m. followed by the biggest meal of the day. Dinner is at 9 p.m., which isn't that weird for the East Coast when we are eating out, but we usually eat our dinner at home around 6 p.m. Going out at night means you better be able to sleep in or be able to operate on less sleep because it will run into the early morning hours.

All not too bad, but as you start adding little differences here and there, and maybe a few larger ones like language, and culture shock is on the horizon. And a lot of heat.

Fool's Knowledge

With regards to the foreign service, as soon as I think I know something, I realize I'm way off base.

After making it onto the registrar (good job, honey!), initially we thought we'd be called off almost immediately because we heard rumors that due to the increased number of foreign service positions the Obama Administration was creating, there was virtually no waiting list.

Obviously this was not the case. So just as Natalie was deciding whether or not she wanted to try to improve her positioning by taking the oral exam again, we did get the call.

Then I started to share with friends and family all sorts of bad information about where we could wind up (I thought only embassies were in play. There are like 30 potential locations in Mexico, and only one has an embassy.) and how long until we got there.

Even as recently as this week, now that we've been on the inside for about nine months, I'm still learning that once I'm ready to claim I know something, we are wrong. The most recent example was that we were told by somebody who probably ought to know better that everyone being posted in Mexico who wants to take a car with them has to drive there.

That made a little bit of sense, because it seems it is cheaper for the government to pay for gas and hotel rooms than to pay to ship the car. But it stopped making sense about the time you realized that Merida, Mexico, is all the way at the bottom of the country and would be a very long drive. Yet if you get posted right across the border in Guatamala or Belize, then the government will pay to ship your car.

Of course, by now, I've come to accept that very little of what the government does makes sense, so I just accepted that this was another one of those examples that the government's procedures were flawed.

Turns out that there are only about a handful of border cities that the government won't ship a car to, and that Hermosillo isn't one of them. We're still going to drive there, but we were both surprised by this revalation.

It has made me re-assess what I know. What I know is this. The sun rises in the east and sets in the west. Hermosillo is in Mexico. Mexico borders the United States. We are suppose to live there.

There's also things I ought to know. But having been proven wrong about things I know on almost a daily basis since this process has begun, I don't like to share this information anymore. The biggie here is about when we are leaving. I think I know when we are supposed to move, but because it is dependent on Natalie passing her Spanish exam, and because this date changes more often than D.C. weather, I'm content to say I don't know.

And finally, there are the things I believe to be true, but these beliefs are based more on speculation than anything else.

The lesson is to take information at face value. Even if the information is coming from a reliable source, it could still be inaccurate. About the only thing you can bank on is that isn't a fact until it has already happened.

Role Reversals

I wouldn't go so far as to list this as an example of cognitive dissonance, but these changes certainly have been shocking to me.

Yesterday, Natalie and I got our visas to work in Mexico. It is official; we are leaving the United States to find work in Mexico. Five years ago, I never would have believed that statement.

I'm also happy to report that last week, after my freelance contract came to an end, I was able to come to terms with my old company to infinitely extend that contract, which, to paraphrase our all-knowing Veep, Joe Biden, "is a big effin deal!" Go read any other foreign service spouse blog, an inevitably there will be multiple posts about finding work.

(Speaking of work, before I left the office, I wrote an article about a young ophthalmologist running for the Republican nomination for senate from the Commonwealth of Kentucky. I'm happy to say that Rand Paul, M.D., rode the EF'M bump to a primary victory and is now the front runner to win a seat in the Senate. But Dr. Paul, you'd do well to heed your father's advice: "Be careful, you could get elected.")

But our moving to Mexico to find better paying jobs is not an isolated incident. In January, Ford officials announced they were moving battery-production jobs from Mexico to Michigan, because, you know, the labor is cheaper.

Hermosillo has a Ford plant, though I can't say with any certainty that it is that plant that will be losing jobs. Ford has several Mexican plants. But months ago when I knew even less about Hermosillo than I know today (which still is very little), I said it was a combination of Texas from the cowboy, beef-producing aspect and Detroit from the Ford plant, but, I said the difference was this plant actually made cars, which means Hermosillo = Texatroit.

Well, if the Hermosillo plant is the plant losing jobs to cheap labor, my analogy will be even more true as an industrial city will be losing jobs to outsourcing.

Five years ago, I definitely never ever would have seen that one coming. Role reversals abound in the foreign service.

First Farewells

When outside stresses mount too high and the blogging community gets too weird, it is time to internalize, move along and get back to writing blog posts like nothing is wrong.

Our move to our first post is quickly arriving despite my best efforts to live in denial. This past weekend did a little to make the realization set in some.

I had my first "farewell."

I decorated the farewell with quotation marks because of course, it isn't real. I'll see my little sister again, but the next time I see her will either be in Mexico or while I'm visiting from Mexico.

Such faux farewells elicit recollections of saying good-bye to high school friends as we moved off to our separate campuses. Yes, we'll see each other again during breaks, but there is the acknowledgement that when we do meet again, we are going to be different people. Other than newly found book knowledge, we also gain new life experiences which changed our sophomoric high-school view of the world.

This summer, I'll have another life-changing experience, obviously, as me move southwest. The next time I see my little sister, I'll be different. I'll likely be tanner and balder, but I'll also have new life experiences from which to draw that probably will change my opinions and way of thinking.

I'd be remiss if I didn't mention why my sister came to D.C. over the weekend in the first place.

Because we are moving to Hermosillo this summer, I'll be in a foreign place far from family and my closest friends when I turn 30.

So between that little fact and that I got Natalie with a surprise party for her A-100 swearing-in ceremony, Natalie threw me a surprise 30th birthday party.

Given my birthday is still a ways off, I definitely did not see this coming, and as I climbed into the party bus, it took me a few seconds as the word "surprise" registered and I saw a motley group of familiar faces. And then I proceeded to drink myself stupid and behave in a manner I don't care to recount, so thank you to all who encouraged this ghastly performance, and to my little sister for coming down from Boston and, of course, to my loving wife for putting it altogether.

FSI: Foreign Service Infiltrated!

By me. I packed my lunch the night before, put on my State Department Mexican-American flag pin, and snuck into Free Studies Inside (FSI) like I was one of them. By "snuck in" I mean I went through the hoops of getting my name on a list, going through a metal detector and wearing my special badge stating I'm not to be trusted and must be accompanied at all times. I'm so dangerous. It was a real undercover operation.

Perhaps a more accurate depiction is that I was dragged there by my wife to attend a Mexican area studies course. Whenever Natalie comes home from work on Tuesdays complaining about how hard FSI training is, I now can remind her that I sat through three hours of area studies with her, so I know better.

The three-hour course began with student presentations on Mexican culture. By the way, is "students" the right term? It feels like a high school campus at FSI. The presenters were good. Very good. Of course, it helped that they were talking about politics and the American-Mexican War, two of my favorite topics, as opposed to say jewelry making or famous Mexican artists.

Looks like we'll be there for their next presidential election, which could see a new party (well, an old party with new leadership) rising to power. That should make for some excitement. They only have presidential elections every six years (and no such thing as a second term), so I feel fortunate to get to experience another country's political process.

The next two hours represented the reason Natalie thought it was important I attended. Three wives of Mexican diplomats working at the Mexican embassy in Washington came in to do a little Q&A about living in their homeland.

What they described is kind of how I picture America in the 1950s or the rural America of the 1980s...I'm not really sure what I mean by that either.

Close-knit families where it is totally fine to live with your parents until you get married. Families that live in the same towns/region for generations. A culture that is a big on chivalry and low on being PC. (In Mexico, everyone with light skin is a gringo, no offense. And anyone with squinted eyes, no matter how slight, are chinos, which I find hilarious because apparently some of the indigenous peoples are called chinos because of their eyes.)

Following up on the point of chivalry, in which men hold doors for women, etc., one of the female FSOs felt impelled to ask how the local populace would view her soon-to-be-unemployed Esposo Fearing Mockery (EFM). I thought this a valid question, though the three panelists laughed it off stating that all of the men in Mexico will be jealous of him. I think that might be half of what they are thinking, but given some of the other things they said, I would be surprised if there isn't some judging.

In general, this panel session was a bit reassuring because there wasn't much new information for me. Which means I've been good about digging up information on Mexico.

EFM: Extricating Floral Memento

As a continuation to yesterday's less-than-serious ponderings of relocating (and massive consumption) of alcohol, I do have one lingering concern about what migration means for my possessions.

For the most part, we don't own much of value. Other than electronics, I think our most valuable possession in monetary terms is our bed set, so it isn't like we have a lot of hard decisions as we prepare for pack out day. Cheap furniture, books and a lot of winter clothes go into storage. Most everything else is coming with us because there isn't that much more. One of the benefits of never owning a home is that we got pretty good about limiting our possessions. Space, or lack there of, dictated that.

But we do have personal items that while limited or entirely lacking monetary value hold a great deal of sentimental value. How many family photos do we want to take to Mexico to make Hermosillo feel like home? All? Doubtful, because there always is the lingering risk that something happens to our shipments or our new home. Fortunately, many of our photos are backed up on the Internet and hard drives as they have been taken on digital cameras.

Some possessions do have some monetary value, but the sentimental or personal value greatly outweigh that. For example, Natalie has some of her mother's jewelry, and she would be just sick of anything happened to it. I have a basketball signed by the 1996 University of Kentucky championship basketball team that I didn't even want to bring to D.C. with me. I have no idea what the ball is worth (several of those players went on to the NBA probably increasing its value), but it remains one of my most prized possessions and I would never think of selling it.

All of those items, however, store pretty well. They're relatively small, and they don't need any care. The same can't be said for my brother's tree.

In 2004, my younger 22-year-old brother died. My parent's home turned into a greenhouse over the next couple of days as friends and family had potted plants sent there. A tradition I really don't understand.

I was living in southeast Ohio at the time, and to lighten the load (and save one more plant from being disposed...there is only so much room for plants in one household), I decided to take one small plant with me back home. It probably was no taller than six inches at the time.

The plant moved from Ohio to D.C. with me in 2005, still a smallish shrub, but it was growing to maybe a foot and a half. In D.C., with a little help from Miracle Gro, it shot up several feet. And when we left D.C. for northern Virginia in 2007, the plant barely made the move with us. As it only had to travel a few miles and we needed to rent a moving van for our furniture anyway, the plant was able to move with us.

Now towering at probably 10 feet (it is hard to gauge, and it already has hit the ceiling and is now growing horizontally), I know the plant can't come to Mexico with us. At least in its current state. My mom, who knows much more about plants than I do, thinks I can lop off the top portions to make it more mover friendly. Then new limbs will start to grow, she said.

Truth is, I'm not overly concerned about the tree being able to move to Mexico with us. I have other, more meaningful objects that remind me of my brother. But I don't want the thing to be merely discarded. I'll look into trimming it and seeing if that makes it movable, but otherwise, the only other solution I can think of is trying to find some place to plant it. (Though Mom thinks it will die in the winter if I do that.)

I've moved on that I don't need this plant sentimentally, but it would bring some piece of mind to know that the plant will live on.

Tiffy-morphosis

It's been a while since I've reported on Tiffy, which is a gross oversight because moving to an arid climate has a direct impact on her.

Just as Travel Orders described, having a dog can greatly influence how we bid. For example, Jamaica won't accept any non-British born dogs. Several other countries have quarantining rules, and we've heard horror stories about dogs that go into quarantine, but never come back out alive.

But those two criteria were the only ones we really considered as far as Tiffy was concerned. (And to be truthful, we had a contingency plan in the event we were going to a quarantining country; give her away, likely to a family member.) If Tiffy could have voiced her opinion on bidding, she wouldn't have let us bid on any post any further south than we already live.

And this serves as my excuse to post pictures of Tiffy.



Look at all that fur. This is a dog that definitely was not intended to live in the desert. Yet that is where she is moving. These pictures actually illustrate Tiffy at her furriest because this year we forwent her usual winter grooming. (Funny story: Last summer, when she got her shave, we came home with a urinary tract infection, which we attributed to an error by the groomers...after shaving her, they bathed her, and to avoid details, let's just say some stray hairs went where they shouldn't. Do you know how to diagnosis a urinary tract infection? Pee samples. Do you know how to obtain a dog's pee sample? You follow her with a ladle and catch some midstream and pour it into a tupperware container and rush it to the lab. That was a fun day.) Determined not to give these groomers another chance at hurting her again, we missed her winter grooming while looking for a new groomer.

Those pictures are also the last time Tiffy will be furry for a couple of years. She already struggles in the summer when we hit the 80s and 90s. That will be the wintertime weather in Hermosillo.

So now Tiffy will live the next few years (at least) like this:



Yeah, she looks kind of ridiculous. But she isn't one of those dogs whose aware of her appearance. She actually seems to have an extra bounce in her step being relieved of a few pounds of fur.

The trick is going to be keeping her fur this short. Let's hope we can find a good groomer in Hermosillo for her, because we'll be making lots of visits.

Meeting My Mexican Informant

Yesterday evening, in the dark recesses of Dupont Circle, Natalie and I had a secret meeting with a member of the Hermosillian underworld.

We went to great lengths to make sure we weren't being followed, and we spoke in code so everyone in the restaurant would assume we were having a casual conversation. In truth, our informant was giving us intimate details about how to infiltrate and coexist with the Hermosillians.

Arranged through a friend of a sister-in-law, this was our first meeting, but if the sensitive information he shared with us proves reliable, we'll likely reunite in his native land, when he is safe from the American government's prying eyes.

He revealed a world that is not as foreign as one would think. Peppered with American chains, it almost sounded like he was describing Tulsa instead of the capital of the Mexican state, Sonora. He actually compared it to Texas stating that it is cowboy country - short on museums and culture, big on beef. (His words, not mine).

To my relief, it sounds like there will be plenty of television options that include ESPN access. He said he had DirecTV, with about 20 English stations and even a few French and German stations, curiously enough.

Surprisingly, he breached the subject of maids without my prompting. (Has he been secretly following me all this time? Is he a double agent?) Commenting that sand and dust are such huge problems, he recommended hiring some help to arrive five or three days per week to help with the cleaning as several commenters also said. (Am I looking at two years of online networking, maid service and regular Sunday mass? My head is spinning.)

I was a bit surprised that he referred to Hermosillo as a small town. There were a few bars, and he proudly told me about a sports bar I can go to. A sports bar? As in, singular? I'm from a small town (population: 25,000ish; Hermosillo: 750,000ish), and we had a sports bar. I find this information questionable. Speaking of bars, he also said tequila is not the beverage of choice. The Hermosillians prefer beer, which is fine with Natalie and me.

All in all, it was a valuable meeting, and he did Hermosillo proud living up to the reputation of being exceedingly friendly; he is hooking us up with his family's vet for Tiffy and wants to arrange for us to meet his brother, who still lives in Hermosillo.

But I fear I've shared too much, and I'd hate to think I compromised his identity.