What's the biggest difference between serving as a tandem and being an Extra Freeloader in Mexico (EFM)? A second government paycheck.
OK, so the second paycheck would be earned through putting in hours at the Consulate, and I'd have to pass all sorts of tests, but whether I like it or not, I'm a diplomat. (And, yes, I know the feeling is mutual. Like it or not Americans, I'm representing you and your image down here. I apologize in advance for any lasting repercussions.)
EFMs are kind of like First Ladies in that way. We didn't really sign up for this job when we married our spouses, and the government didn't really get too much of a say in picking ideal EFMs to accompany their Formally Selected Officials (FSOs). The only screening they did on me was a background check and a medical test. Essentially, the only requirement to being an EFM is not getting into too much trouble and being disease free. (And who knows, they might not even care that much about those two criteria either. Anyone know of any potential EFM being rejected for medical reasons?)
Also like the First Ladies, how we fulfill our role is entirely dependent on our own ambitions. We can be Hillary Clintons and be - perhaps - too involved, or we could be Laura Bushs lead and be essentially out of sight.
That said, I'm not locking myself in the house and never making public appearances. And when I do go out, I am representing how Americans behave. And I stick out a bit, too, given that I have paler skin than most of the native Hermosillians, and that I also probably have a general look of confusion.
Some of us are better at this job than others. Take Novakistan (formerly Minnesota Gal) for instance. She does us proud in her job as a diplomat. These two stories - this one written by her, and this one written by her friend who was visiting - are some of the best things I've read from fellow foreign service spouses since I entered the fold. If you have time, you definitely need to read these pieces. If you don't, then stop reading this one and go check them out instead.
I don't have the language skills, yet, to be able to be that involved, but I did get to practice a little this past weekend doing some Beach Diplomacy.
There are two beaches near here - San Carlos and Bahia de Kino. From the best that I can tell, Kino seems to be more of the locals' beach whereas San Carlos is more "vacationy." While at Kino this past weekend, we - Natalie, one of her colleagues, and I - had a Frisbee with us. It wasn't the most effective toy with the wind making it difficult to throw, and when it went into the water, it sunk making it hard to retrieve. In short, it was a crappy Frisbee.
Near by, there were two young boys (both 6-9ish) playing in the sand. I think they were digging, but they didn't have any tools. They also didn't have any bathing suits and were just wearing their underwear instead. Natalie's colleague invited them into our game of throwing the Frisbee and looking for it in the Gulf after we inevitably missed it. They were loving it.
They left eventually, and we were getting ready to go our hut when a young girl (9-12ish) walked up to me - I was holding the crappy Frisbee - with a JuMex box in her hand and said "Hi," in English. A bit relieved that she spoke some English, I decided to test it. "Do you want to throw?" "Yeah," and then she handed her juice box to some and threw the Frisbee to Natalie's colleague. She threw a few more times before she started getting bored, or distracted, and then her little sister came over and we played with her some.
She was fascinating, and I'd love to have had more time to talk with her. But I did learn that she was born in Phoenix while her parents and older sister were born in Mexico, and that she had (or still does?) attended school in Tuscan. Her English was incredible, probably even better than some of her American contemporaries. But she also said it was her job to teach her parents and her sister English, too. Like I said, I would have loved to hear more of her story.
But the game ended and we went our separate ways. I'd like to think that the parents were watching and were thinking that those Americans aren't that bad after all. And I'd like to think that as those children get older, they'll remember playing with some Americans on the beach, and that we didn't have fangs or fences.
You'll never find me serving the United States in a Consulate or Embassy, but I'm just find deploying a little Beach Diplomacy here and there.
Showing posts with label FSO. Show all posts
Showing posts with label FSO. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
FSO: Finished Spanish Orals
Excuse me while I boast a little.Today, Natalie passed her Spanish exam completing a sweep of her foreign service tests. Ever since the first test during this process of getting into the foreign service all the way through to this final exam, she passed everything on her first try. In a related story, Jesus was struck down by lightning.
(Just kidding. About the stories being related, that is. Jesus really was struck down by lightning. And Natalie really did pass all of her tests on her first try. Just saying.)
A little while ago, I wondered aloud as to what the difference was between a 2+ and 3 in the Frustrated Scales, Inc. (FSI). Well, while I'm not sure what the difference is in assessing a 2+ compared to a 3, but I can tell you the difference in results - about four more weeks of Spanish.
During this whole process, I've met a lot of very intelligent people in the foreign service, and some trying to get in. And there are not very many who can lay claim to passing all of their tests on their first try.
I couldn't be happier for or more proud of her while she has made the foreign service testing her bitch.
So what did this all mean? Well, we have an official countdown now. We are leaving Crystal City on July 9, and on July 15, exactly one month from today, Natalie will have her first office job in about 10 months.
Now, I guess it is time I start learning Spanish, too. At least I know someone who meets the government standards as a proficient Spanish speaker.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
FSI: Foreign Service Infiltrated!
By me. I packed my lunch the night before, put on my State Department Mexican-American flag pin, and snuck into Free Studies Inside (FSI) like I was one of them. By "snuck in" I mean I went through the hoops of getting my name on a list, going through a metal detector and wearing my special badge stating I'm not to be trusted and must be accompanied at all times. I'm so dangerous. It was a real undercover operation.
Perhaps a more accurate depiction is that I was dragged there by my wife to attend a Mexican area studies course. Whenever Natalie comes home from work on Tuesdays complaining about how hard FSI training is, I now can remind her that I sat through three hours of area studies with her, so I know better.
The three-hour course began with student presentations on Mexican culture. By the way, is "students" the right term? It feels like a high school campus at FSI. The presenters were good. Very good. Of course, it helped that they were talking about politics and the American-Mexican War, two of my favorite topics, as opposed to say jewelry making or famous Mexican artists.
Looks like we'll be there for their next presidential election, which could see a new party (well, an old party with new leadership) rising to power. That should make for some excitement. They only have presidential elections every six years (and no such thing as a second term), so I feel fortunate to get to experience another country's political process.
The next two hours represented the reason Natalie thought it was important I attended. Three wives of Mexican diplomats working at the Mexican embassy in Washington came in to do a little Q&A about living in their homeland.
What they described is kind of how I picture America in the 1950s or the rural America of the 1980s...I'm not really sure what I mean by that either.
Close-knit families where it is totally fine to live with your parents until you get married. Families that live in the same towns/region for generations. A culture that is a big on chivalry and low on being PC. (In Mexico, everyone with light skin is a gringo, no offense. And anyone with squinted eyes, no matter how slight, are chinos, which I find hilarious because apparently some of the indigenous peoples are called chinos because of their eyes.)
Following up on the point of chivalry, in which men hold doors for women, etc., one of the female FSOs felt impelled to ask how the local populace would view her soon-to-be-unemployed Esposo Fearing Mockery (EFM). I thought this a valid question, though the three panelists laughed it off stating that all of the men in Mexico will be jealous of him. I think that might be half of what they are thinking, but given some of the other things they said, I would be surprised if there isn't some judging.
In general, this panel session was a bit reassuring because there wasn't much new information for me. Which means I've been good about digging up information on Mexico.
Perhaps a more accurate depiction is that I was dragged there by my wife to attend a Mexican area studies course. Whenever Natalie comes home from work on Tuesdays complaining about how hard FSI training is, I now can remind her that I sat through three hours of area studies with her, so I know better.
The three-hour course began with student presentations on Mexican culture. By the way, is "students" the right term? It feels like a high school campus at FSI. The presenters were good. Very good. Of course, it helped that they were talking about politics and the American-Mexican War, two of my favorite topics, as opposed to say jewelry making or famous Mexican artists.
Looks like we'll be there for their next presidential election, which could see a new party (well, an old party with new leadership) rising to power. That should make for some excitement. They only have presidential elections every six years (and no such thing as a second term), so I feel fortunate to get to experience another country's political process.
The next two hours represented the reason Natalie thought it was important I attended. Three wives of Mexican diplomats working at the Mexican embassy in Washington came in to do a little Q&A about living in their homeland.
What they described is kind of how I picture America in the 1950s or the rural America of the 1980s...I'm not really sure what I mean by that either.
Close-knit families where it is totally fine to live with your parents until you get married. Families that live in the same towns/region for generations. A culture that is a big on chivalry and low on being PC. (In Mexico, everyone with light skin is a gringo, no offense. And anyone with squinted eyes, no matter how slight, are chinos, which I find hilarious because apparently some of the indigenous peoples are called chinos because of their eyes.)
Following up on the point of chivalry, in which men hold doors for women, etc., one of the female FSOs felt impelled to ask how the local populace would view her soon-to-be-unemployed Esposo Fearing Mockery (EFM). I thought this a valid question, though the three panelists laughed it off stating that all of the men in Mexico will be jealous of him. I think that might be half of what they are thinking, but given some of the other things they said, I would be surprised if there isn't some judging.
In general, this panel session was a bit reassuring because there wasn't much new information for me. Which means I've been good about digging up information on Mexico.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Jobs vs. Careers
Many of you directed your comments yesterday about my perception of being an Emasculated Form of a Man (EFM) to a grander view of self worth and employment, which is fine because that is where I was headed today anyway. The two are definitely linked; I was just highlighting my opinion that I think it might be especially hard on men given social norms and some of the data.
I also need to give a special Clairvoyancy Award to the authors of I'll take mine...to go, please! for using the actual phrasing of jobs and careers, because that is exactly what I was planning on covering today.
(A quick aside: Thank you to all who included overly generous, flattering remarks in your comments.)
The instructors at Free Studies Inside (FSI; by the way, three courses, eight or so instructors, and all have been women...OK, OK, I'll let it go now) were kind enough to us on Friday to no sugarcoat the facts. Even those of us fortunate enough to have portable careers are going to arrive at a post where we will be unemployed.
According to their November 2009 data, 2,470 (25%) EFMs worked inside the mission (which is somewhat Christian-speak for the U.S. government building at post); 1,295 (13%) worked outside the mission; and 5,978 (62%) were unemployed. Within that last group, about half would've liked to been employed.
Here is some more interesting data regarding employment that I couldn't really find a place for, so I will unceremoniously throw it at you now. The State Department breaks the world into regions: Africa (AF), East Asia Pacific (EAP), Europe (EUR), Near East Asia (NEA), South Central Asia (SCA) and the Western Hemisphere (WHA).
Childcare is so expensive in Europe and the Western Hemisphere that many EFMs opt for unemployment because it makes more sense financially, and so those to regions have higher unemployed EFM rates at 66% and 65%, respectively. Also at the bottom (66%) is East Asia Pacific due to the fact that it is illegal for EFMs to work in several of those countries including China, Thailand, and more. Near East Asia and South Central Asia both are higher than average (53% and 47% unemployed, respectively) because both of those regions have many unaccompanied tours, so unless the EFM is working at the mission/post, they aren't coming anyway. Finally, Africa with 48% unemployment gets mad props for doing the most to provide work for interested EFMs, and have a better unemployment rate to show for it.
But what kind of work are EFMs finding?
The FSI instructors admitted that most of the mission work is clerical, so unless your previous career was a secretary/office manager/or whatever the going PC term is these days, you are working a job and not necessarily furthering your career.
But there are some career paths that offer some hope, especially for those who work in the local economy, which is foreign service speak for working outside the mission/post. For example, about 400 EFMs were able to find work teaching, which represents about a third of EFMS working outside the mission.
I fall into the next largest group, which is freelancing (189 EFMs also found this kind of work), though I also overlap a bit into telecommuting (84 EFMs did this) because I'm freelancing for an American company. There are freelancing jobs in the local economies.
Lawyers and medical workers also find employment, though the problem here is that American certification does not always transfer to the post.
Throw in some military jobs, non-government organizations and international organizations that pretty much is all that is available in the local economies.
What, your career is not represented in that group?
For the creative and entrepreneurial type, you can create your own business; 141 EFMs took this route last year. Lest we forget, there were 9,743 EFMs last year in all, so this apparently is a difficult undertaking. But, in my opinion (and was shared by one of the instructors), this seems to be the most secured way to have a career no matter where you are posted.
And finally, there is the volunteering option. But this comes with an often overlooked caveat. While volunteering can be personally rewarding, our instructors suggested that we should be more selective in these endeavors that Americans usually tend to be. In other words, search for volunteering options that you can use to further your career for when you return to the States.
That's right, we will be coming back to the States, and there is no reason we should be putting ourselves at competitive disadvantages because we were accommodating to our Federally-employed Significant Others (FSOs) and not looking out for our own interests, too.
I don't think this can be stressed enough. There will be tours in Washington, D.C., and many of us will not be able to afford this city on one government salary. Or perhaps after doing a few tours, your family decides to either take a break or leave the foreign service life altogether. Then what? You just spent the past 10 years or whatever making yourself less marketable.
It is imperative upon us to keep our own career goals on task because we will not be getting much, if any, help from anyone else.
That ends this rant, and as a reward for your patience, I'll update the Official Unofficial Chart of Acronyms in the coming days to cover all of the new gems I picked up from my FSI courses.
I also need to give a special Clairvoyancy Award to the authors of I'll take mine...to go, please! for using the actual phrasing of jobs and careers, because that is exactly what I was planning on covering today.
(A quick aside: Thank you to all who included overly generous, flattering remarks in your comments.)
The instructors at Free Studies Inside (FSI; by the way, three courses, eight or so instructors, and all have been women...OK, OK, I'll let it go now) were kind enough to us on Friday to no sugarcoat the facts. Even those of us fortunate enough to have portable careers are going to arrive at a post where we will be unemployed.
According to their November 2009 data, 2,470 (25%) EFMs worked inside the mission (which is somewhat Christian-speak for the U.S. government building at post); 1,295 (13%) worked outside the mission; and 5,978 (62%) were unemployed. Within that last group, about half would've liked to been employed.
Here is some more interesting data regarding employment that I couldn't really find a place for, so I will unceremoniously throw it at you now. The State Department breaks the world into regions: Africa (AF), East Asia Pacific (EAP), Europe (EUR), Near East Asia (NEA), South Central Asia (SCA) and the Western Hemisphere (WHA).
Childcare is so expensive in Europe and the Western Hemisphere that many EFMs opt for unemployment because it makes more sense financially, and so those to regions have higher unemployed EFM rates at 66% and 65%, respectively. Also at the bottom (66%) is East Asia Pacific due to the fact that it is illegal for EFMs to work in several of those countries including China, Thailand, and more. Near East Asia and South Central Asia both are higher than average (53% and 47% unemployed, respectively) because both of those regions have many unaccompanied tours, so unless the EFM is working at the mission/post, they aren't coming anyway. Finally, Africa with 48% unemployment gets mad props for doing the most to provide work for interested EFMs, and have a better unemployment rate to show for it.
But what kind of work are EFMs finding?
The FSI instructors admitted that most of the mission work is clerical, so unless your previous career was a secretary/office manager/or whatever the going PC term is these days, you are working a job and not necessarily furthering your career.
But there are some career paths that offer some hope, especially for those who work in the local economy, which is foreign service speak for working outside the mission/post. For example, about 400 EFMs were able to find work teaching, which represents about a third of EFMS working outside the mission.
I fall into the next largest group, which is freelancing (189 EFMs also found this kind of work), though I also overlap a bit into telecommuting (84 EFMs did this) because I'm freelancing for an American company. There are freelancing jobs in the local economies.
Lawyers and medical workers also find employment, though the problem here is that American certification does not always transfer to the post.
Throw in some military jobs, non-government organizations and international organizations that pretty much is all that is available in the local economies.
What, your career is not represented in that group?
For the creative and entrepreneurial type, you can create your own business; 141 EFMs took this route last year. Lest we forget, there were 9,743 EFMs last year in all, so this apparently is a difficult undertaking. But, in my opinion (and was shared by one of the instructors), this seems to be the most secured way to have a career no matter where you are posted.
And finally, there is the volunteering option. But this comes with an often overlooked caveat. While volunteering can be personally rewarding, our instructors suggested that we should be more selective in these endeavors that Americans usually tend to be. In other words, search for volunteering options that you can use to further your career for when you return to the States.
That's right, we will be coming back to the States, and there is no reason we should be putting ourselves at competitive disadvantages because we were accommodating to our Federally-employed Significant Others (FSOs) and not looking out for our own interests, too.
I don't think this can be stressed enough. There will be tours in Washington, D.C., and many of us will not be able to afford this city on one government salary. Or perhaps after doing a few tours, your family decides to either take a break or leave the foreign service life altogether. Then what? You just spent the past 10 years or whatever making yourself less marketable.
It is imperative upon us to keep our own career goals on task because we will not be getting much, if any, help from anyone else.
That ends this rant, and as a reward for your patience, I'll update the Official Unofficial Chart of Acronyms in the coming days to cover all of the new gems I picked up from my FSI courses.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
EFM: Emasculating For Men?
On Sunday, I said I had taken a respite from posting due to college basketball, but that is only half true. The whole story is that I was occupied Friday with a Free Study Inside (FSI) course for Employment-Frenzied Mates (EFMs) about finding jobs (or careers, for the lucky) at posts.
I gathered lots of interesting data and advice during the daylong course (in fact, somehow I was in class longer than Natalie even though she is learning Spanish as a requirement and her only job right now. Also, this was flag day for the 151st A-100, and one of our friends, and EF'M reader, got assigned to Belize; we will be visiting.)
One piece of datum the presenters shared was that are 9,743 EFMs as of November 2009. Of this group, 7,901 (81%) are women compared to only 1,842 (19%) men. Within the class I was attending, of the 23 in attendance, 16 were women (69%) and there were 7 (31%) men*. The asterisk is there because there actually were only six men there, but one of the women was the FSO, and she was there gathering information for her husband.
Also, during the event, one of the men I met took the nontraditional step of adopting his wife's last name and dropping his. And as recent as yesterday, while researching on how readers were finding EF'M, I found that someone Googled "what is it like being the wife of a fso," and that brought them here.
Now, I'm not too proud to be a "stay-at-home" husband (it does help that I'm actually a work-from-home husband) and never really considered my masculinity to be at risk. Yet I should admit occasional feelings of discomfort on the topic.
It is not that I mind taking a financial backseat to my industrious, ambitious wife while putting my career on hold. Far from it. Part of the reason for my signing off on this whole deal stemmed from the fact that I was not getting any satisfaction from my career.
Rather, I can sense judgment in others - friends, family, and even the foreign service community. What is wrong with this guy? How can he watch idly from the sidelines? And from the foreign service, why doesn't he take the tests, too, and become a tandem?
Maybe this paranoia stems from cracks in my self confidence. Maybe I'm more proud than I once thought. Or maybe I subscribe to 1950s stereotypes more than I knew.
At least within my circle of friends, family, etc., it still is fine for the man of the house to be the sole (or dominant) breadwinner while the woman stays home and tends to the household duties. But when you challenge this norm by reversing these gender roles, there is some awkwardness.
Now it is up to me, and my fellow male EFMs to make peace with that judgment until the rest of the country catches up. For me, that is why having some source of independent income is so important. Not only does it let me maintain an identity separate from the foreign service, but it is part of my claim to my manhood. I'm bringing home some of the bacon, too, even though I'm also cooking it.
So if you'll excuse me, I have to go to the grocery store now, and I'm fine with that.
I gathered lots of interesting data and advice during the daylong course (in fact, somehow I was in class longer than Natalie even though she is learning Spanish as a requirement and her only job right now. Also, this was flag day for the 151st A-100, and one of our friends, and EF'M reader, got assigned to Belize; we will be visiting.)
One piece of datum the presenters shared was that are 9,743 EFMs as of November 2009. Of this group, 7,901 (81%) are women compared to only 1,842 (19%) men. Within the class I was attending, of the 23 in attendance, 16 were women (69%) and there were 7 (31%) men*. The asterisk is there because there actually were only six men there, but one of the women was the FSO, and she was there gathering information for her husband.
Also, during the event, one of the men I met took the nontraditional step of adopting his wife's last name and dropping his. And as recent as yesterday, while researching on how readers were finding EF'M, I found that someone Googled "what is it like being the wife of a fso," and that brought them here.
Now, I'm not too proud to be a "stay-at-home" husband (it does help that I'm actually a work-from-home husband) and never really considered my masculinity to be at risk. Yet I should admit occasional feelings of discomfort on the topic.
It is not that I mind taking a financial backseat to my industrious, ambitious wife while putting my career on hold. Far from it. Part of the reason for my signing off on this whole deal stemmed from the fact that I was not getting any satisfaction from my career.
Rather, I can sense judgment in others - friends, family, and even the foreign service community. What is wrong with this guy? How can he watch idly from the sidelines? And from the foreign service, why doesn't he take the tests, too, and become a tandem?
Maybe this paranoia stems from cracks in my self confidence. Maybe I'm more proud than I once thought. Or maybe I subscribe to 1950s stereotypes more than I knew.
At least within my circle of friends, family, etc., it still is fine for the man of the house to be the sole (or dominant) breadwinner while the woman stays home and tends to the household duties. But when you challenge this norm by reversing these gender roles, there is some awkwardness.
Now it is up to me, and my fellow male EFMs to make peace with that judgment until the rest of the country catches up. For me, that is why having some source of independent income is so important. Not only does it let me maintain an identity separate from the foreign service, but it is part of my claim to my manhood. I'm bringing home some of the bacon, too, even though I'm also cooking it.
So if you'll excuse me, I have to go to the grocery store now, and I'm fine with that.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
FSO: First Stop Overseas
Hermosillo must be a destination for first-timers in the foreign service.
Back in January, Natalie helped arrange a lunch for a Hermosillo contingent, which comprises five A-100ers ranging from 145th to 148th (I think) who all are arriving in Hermosillo within a few months of each other.
(A long tangent: We ate at Chef Geoff's, which made me realize how impossible English must be to learn to read. We have no rules. How is Geoff pronounced Jeff and Gee Off? After all, it is pronounced geometry, not jemetry. The English are really poor when it comes to spelling proper names compared to how they are pronounced. Stephen and Steven is another one. Since when did "ph" sound like a "v?"
Natalie and I were in London once, and I recall a few stops on the Underground having six or seven silent consonants. But you don't have to go to England to see this kind of absurdity. Look at Worcester, Mass., pronounced Wooster. Where the hell did the "r" go?
By contrast, French has disappearing letters, too. For example, il parle (he speaks) and ils parlent (they, masculine, speak), but that is the rule. All regular verbs act that way. In short, English must be a bitch to learn to read.)
Back to the matter at hand. It was a great lunch because I got to meet several of the people we will be living near. About half are single, but there is an Eventual Friend in Mexico (EFM - woman) and My Outdoorsy Hoosier (MOH - man), whose girlfriend also was in Natalie's A-100 class.
I figure these two will be the most important friendships for the next couple of years because not only will they be two of the only English-speaking people I will know and we'll have lots of free time, most likely.
In all, it seems like a friendly group, and I'm glad I got first introductions out of the way before arriving in Mexico.
Back in January, Natalie helped arrange a lunch for a Hermosillo contingent, which comprises five A-100ers ranging from 145th to 148th (I think) who all are arriving in Hermosillo within a few months of each other.
(A long tangent: We ate at Chef Geoff's, which made me realize how impossible English must be to learn to read. We have no rules. How is Geoff pronounced Jeff and Gee Off? After all, it is pronounced geometry, not jemetry. The English are really poor when it comes to spelling proper names compared to how they are pronounced. Stephen and Steven is another one. Since when did "ph" sound like a "v?"
Natalie and I were in London once, and I recall a few stops on the Underground having six or seven silent consonants. But you don't have to go to England to see this kind of absurdity. Look at Worcester, Mass., pronounced Wooster. Where the hell did the "r" go?
By contrast, French has disappearing letters, too. For example, il parle (he speaks) and ils parlent (they, masculine, speak), but that is the rule. All regular verbs act that way. In short, English must be a bitch to learn to read.)
Back to the matter at hand. It was a great lunch because I got to meet several of the people we will be living near. About half are single, but there is an Eventual Friend in Mexico (EFM - woman) and My Outdoorsy Hoosier (MOH - man), whose girlfriend also was in Natalie's A-100 class.
I figure these two will be the most important friendships for the next couple of years because not only will they be two of the only English-speaking people I will know and we'll have lots of free time, most likely.
In all, it seems like a friendly group, and I'm glad I got first introductions out of the way before arriving in Mexico.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Why Blog?
Recently there have been a couple of threads in a private Yahoo! Group about what kind of information should or should not be included in a blog about life as an FSO (either a Frightened and Suspicious Oversea'er or Fearlessly Serving Overseas, depending on the FSO) or spouse.
Obviously, I lean toward including everything, including first names, with one exception. That is, I will not include the names of any other FSOs, EFMs, MOHs or another government acronym without getting permission. Everyone is entitled to privacy, until they start blogging in public.
There also were comments made about being discrete about what the government provides its foreign service employees and families courtesy of tax payers.
Once again, obviously I don't agree with this advice. American citizens ought to know how their tax dollars are being spent. I cannot see a single downside to sharing information about use of tax dollars, and I welcome anyone to dissuade me otherwise.
But at the heart of many of the postings in these threads was why people post blogs anyway.
Many indicated they were doing so in lieu of filling friends' and family mailboxes with e-mail updates. Because it was for their eyes only, they would slap a password on the blog to keep it out of the public's hands.
I did send my link to my friends and family with a similar message that I will not being doing the mass e-mail thing and if they really want to know what is going on, then stop by my blog.
But instead of limiting my drivel to people I know, I decided to open my experiences to others. And so far, I'm glad that I have.
For one, I've been able to interact (on a limited basis) with others in a similar position as myself. It is nice to know others have gone through this already and turned out somewhat normal.
Also, I know that some readers have been directed to this blog by searching for terms related to being an eligible family member. I can't imagine they walked away with much at this point, but I hope potential or recent EFMs will find this blog once I'm able to start sharing overseas experiences.
Pretty much the only EFM the uninitiated have to relate to, especially since there has been a recent movie, is Julia Child. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that many EFMs do not have a similar experience of becoming a wildly successful chef and live in Paris.
So the reason I blog, other than for vanity, is to try to be helpful. And I imagine that is why others blog publicly as well. Yes, we need to take some precautions when we are living abroad to not share too much personal information about where we live, and using a little tact (not that I do) doesn't hurt, but otherwise, type away bloggers!
Obviously, I lean toward including everything, including first names, with one exception. That is, I will not include the names of any other FSOs, EFMs, MOHs or another government acronym without getting permission. Everyone is entitled to privacy, until they start blogging in public.
There also were comments made about being discrete about what the government provides its foreign service employees and families courtesy of tax payers.
Once again, obviously I don't agree with this advice. American citizens ought to know how their tax dollars are being spent. I cannot see a single downside to sharing information about use of tax dollars, and I welcome anyone to dissuade me otherwise.
But at the heart of many of the postings in these threads was why people post blogs anyway.
Many indicated they were doing so in lieu of filling friends' and family mailboxes with e-mail updates. Because it was for their eyes only, they would slap a password on the blog to keep it out of the public's hands.
I did send my link to my friends and family with a similar message that I will not being doing the mass e-mail thing and if they really want to know what is going on, then stop by my blog.
But instead of limiting my drivel to people I know, I decided to open my experiences to others. And so far, I'm glad that I have.
For one, I've been able to interact (on a limited basis) with others in a similar position as myself. It is nice to know others have gone through this already and turned out somewhat normal.
Also, I know that some readers have been directed to this blog by searching for terms related to being an eligible family member. I can't imagine they walked away with much at this point, but I hope potential or recent EFMs will find this blog once I'm able to start sharing overseas experiences.
Pretty much the only EFM the uninitiated have to relate to, especially since there has been a recent movie, is Julia Child. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that many EFMs do not have a similar experience of becoming a wildly successful chef and live in Paris.
So the reason I blog, other than for vanity, is to try to be helpful. And I imagine that is why others blog publicly as well. Yes, we need to take some precautions when we are living abroad to not share too much personal information about where we live, and using a little tact (not that I do) doesn't hurt, but otherwise, type away bloggers!
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
The Official Unofficial Chart of Acronyms
The U.S. Government loves acronyms; there is no getting around it. As a D.C. area resident and a once-upon-a-time journalist, I'm a bit accustomed to these unsightly blocks of capital letters, but I understand they can be intimidating to others. (I think that is their intention so you will just gloss over what you're reading.) Therefore, I took it upon myself to translate a few acronyms that other FSO spouses might find useful.
A couple of user notes first. While the majority are listed in alphabetical order, a few are "coupled" because they are related. Also, the list of acronyms is too exhaustive for my list to be considered the end-all-be-all chart of what you need to know. For example, I'll probably need to put together a sequel to cover the acronyms you might find useful for moving alone.
It should also be noted that this is a reflection of how much fulfillment I get from my current job that I took the time to do this. So here is the Official, Unofficial Chart of Foreign Service Acronyms: (and please feel free to add any suggestions for lengthening, shortening or improving the chart. I'm not too proud to make changes and admit my own shortcomings.)
A couple of user notes first. While the majority are listed in alphabetical order, a few are "coupled" because they are related. Also, the list of acronyms is too exhaustive for my list to be considered the end-all-be-all chart of what you need to know. For example, I'll probably need to put together a sequel to cover the acronyms you might find useful for moving alone.
It should also be noted that this is a reflection of how much fulfillment I get from my current job that I took the time to do this. So here is the Official, Unofficial Chart of Foreign Service Acronyms: (and please feel free to add any suggestions for lengthening, shortening or improving the chart. I'm not too proud to make changes and admit my own shortcomings.)
Friday, January 29, 2010
AFSA Links for Supporting FSO-related Haiti Victims
Natalie received this message from the American Foreign Service Association (AFSA), so I thought I'd pass it along to everyone:
"AFSA wishes to express its deepest condolences to the family, friends and colleagues of those in the Foreign Service community who perished in the devastating January 12 earthquake in Haiti. One Foreign Service Officer and at least six Foreign Service Nationals are among the fallen, with 28 others unaccounted for:
"Victoria DeLong: A 27-year veteran of the Foreign Service and an AFSA member, Victoria served as the Cultural Affairs Officer in Port-au-Prince. She had fallen in love with the people and culture of Haiti and called this tour the highlight of her career. Donations in her memory of Victoria Delong can be made to the Little Flower/Rosa Mina Orphanage, where Vickie volunteered. Online donations can be made through the Partners in Progress website. There, click on "make a donation" to get the donations page. Where it asks "How should we use your donation", there is a drop down menu, and Little Flower/Rosa Mina is third on the list of options. On behalf of AFSA and its members, AFSA President Susan Johnson will present Victoria’s family with a United States flag at the funeral this weekend.
"We also mourn the terrible loss of so many of our FSN colleagues. The Foreign Service National (FSN) Emergency Relief Fund enables the Department of State to respond to crises affecting locally employed staff overseas. To donate to the fund, send a check to the Department’s Gift Fund Coordinator, Donna Bordley, RM/CFO, Rm. 7427, 2201 C Street NW, Washington DC 20520. Make checks payable to the U.S. Department of State, designation for the “FSN Emergency Relief Fund.” State and USAID employees may also check their intranet for guidance on donation by cash or credit cards.
"Our thoughts are also with State Department employee Andrew Wyllie, who tragically lost his wife Laurence and his two young sons, Evan and Baptiste, in the earthquake.
"As a part of honoring their memory, AFSA has opened an online condolence and remembrance page. Please share your thoughts on those who gave their lives by e-mailing them to member@afsa.org. They will be posted each day. We encourage you to express your support for the dedication, courage and professionalism of your colleagues and fellow members of our Foreign Service family/community. The families of the fallen will then be provided with a bound book containing all the messages regarding their loved ones."
Unless anything else develops, I'm likely done blogging on Haiti as there are several, more reliable resources available. And I encourage you all to use them because just as former President George W. Bush said (and I never thought I would see the day I would be paraphrasing him without a punchline), after the news-cycle passes by Haiti, there still will be a of lot work that needs to be done to recover, rebuild and improve the nation's infrastructure and national psyche.
"AFSA wishes to express its deepest condolences to the family, friends and colleagues of those in the Foreign Service community who perished in the devastating January 12 earthquake in Haiti. One Foreign Service Officer and at least six Foreign Service Nationals are among the fallen, with 28 others unaccounted for:
"Victoria DeLong: A 27-year veteran of the Foreign Service and an AFSA member, Victoria served as the Cultural Affairs Officer in Port-au-Prince. She had fallen in love with the people and culture of Haiti and called this tour the highlight of her career. Donations in her memory of Victoria Delong can be made to the Little Flower/Rosa Mina Orphanage, where Vickie volunteered. Online donations can be made through the Partners in Progress website. There, click on "make a donation" to get the donations page. Where it asks "How should we use your donation", there is a drop down menu, and Little Flower/Rosa Mina is third on the list of options. On behalf of AFSA and its members, AFSA President Susan Johnson will present Victoria’s family with a United States flag at the funeral this weekend.
"We also mourn the terrible loss of so many of our FSN colleagues. The Foreign Service National (FSN) Emergency Relief Fund enables the Department of State to respond to crises affecting locally employed staff overseas. To donate to the fund, send a check to the Department’s Gift Fund Coordinator, Donna Bordley, RM/CFO, Rm. 7427, 2201 C Street NW, Washington DC 20520. Make checks payable to the U.S. Department of State, designation for the “FSN Emergency Relief Fund.” State and USAID employees may also check their intranet for guidance on donation by cash or credit cards.
"Our thoughts are also with State Department employee Andrew Wyllie, who tragically lost his wife Laurence and his two young sons, Evan and Baptiste, in the earthquake.
"As a part of honoring their memory, AFSA has opened an online condolence and remembrance page. Please share your thoughts on those who gave their lives by e-mailing them to member@afsa.org. They will be posted each day. We encourage you to express your support for the dedication, courage and professionalism of your colleagues and fellow members of our Foreign Service family/community. The families of the fallen will then be provided with a bound book containing all the messages regarding their loved ones."
Unless anything else develops, I'm likely done blogging on Haiti as there are several, more reliable resources available. And I encourage you all to use them because just as former President George W. Bush said (and I never thought I would see the day I would be paraphrasing him without a punchline), after the news-cycle passes by Haiti, there still will be a of lot work that needs to be done to recover, rebuild and improve the nation's infrastructure and national psyche.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
An Open Letter to the U.S. Government
Dear U.S. Government,
I was quite distressed to learn that in addition to the unfortunate passing of Victoria DeLong, three “obviously, they’re not government employees” (according to Assistant Secretary Philip J. Crowley) also died in Haiti.
I don’t know anything about these people, in part because you haven’t released their identities. I hope this is because you still are contacting family members, but when this task is complete—if it isn’t already—then I urge you to let us learn more about the three “dependents” (Crowley again).
I don't know who these people were, but I feel a slight connection. They've been through what I'm going through, and some day, I'll experience what they've experienced as an American expatriate.
You shared the identity of Ms. DeLong, and The Washington Post wrote a wonderful article detailing her life as a foreign service officer.
It would be nice to share with the American public that while the FSOs are doing their jobs representing the United States in foreign countries, many of them do so with their families. Instead, you strung together this beautiful bit of prose: “Yeah, they’re part of the official – they were there in an official status as accompanying family members in Haiti…But they’re not – obviously, they’re not U.S. employees.”
Suddenly EF’M doesn’t seem so tongue-in-cheek. (This is Crowley below, and so far, I don't like him very much.)
Let’s be clear, Crowley, while we do not receive paychecks from the government, we are (or will be, as the case pertains to me) representing the United States as well.
In fact, the day after your impersonal references to the additional paperwork that travels with your FSOs, Hillary Clinton said, “We know that when we send someone to serve in a post overseas, the family serves, whether the family accompanies the officer or stays behind. We know that there is a family that is involved in most cases.”
Let’s up those are not just words, and a good place to start would be to tell the stories of the three Americans who died serving their country in Haiti.
UPDATE
I guess I misread one of Clinton's remarks, and the State Department did identify the three EFMs as Andrew Wyllie's wife Laurence and his two young sons Evan and Baptiste. The way the statement was worded, I thought he was employed with the United Nations, and while tragically losing his family, I worried there still were three more EFMs the government had not identified. Here is an article from The Newport Daily Express and another that shares some about the family. Regardless, I still was upset with Crowley's choice of words, which is why I decided to leave this post up.
I was quite distressed to learn that in addition to the unfortunate passing of Victoria DeLong, three “obviously, they’re not government employees” (according to Assistant Secretary Philip J. Crowley) also died in Haiti.
I don’t know anything about these people, in part because you haven’t released their identities. I hope this is because you still are contacting family members, but when this task is complete—if it isn’t already—then I urge you to let us learn more about the three “dependents” (Crowley again).
I don't know who these people were, but I feel a slight connection. They've been through what I'm going through, and some day, I'll experience what they've experienced as an American expatriate.
You shared the identity of Ms. DeLong, and The Washington Post wrote a wonderful article detailing her life as a foreign service officer.
It would be nice to share with the American public that while the FSOs are doing their jobs representing the United States in foreign countries, many of them do so with their families. Instead, you strung together this beautiful bit of prose: “Yeah, they’re part of the official – they were there in an official status as accompanying family members in Haiti…But they’re not – obviously, they’re not U.S. employees.”
Suddenly EF’M doesn’t seem so tongue-in-cheek. (This is Crowley below, and so far, I don't like him very much.)
Let’s be clear, Crowley, while we do not receive paychecks from the government, we are (or will be, as the case pertains to me) representing the United States as well.
In fact, the day after your impersonal references to the additional paperwork that travels with your FSOs, Hillary Clinton said, “We know that when we send someone to serve in a post overseas, the family serves, whether the family accompanies the officer or stays behind. We know that there is a family that is involved in most cases.”
Let’s up those are not just words, and a good place to start would be to tell the stories of the three Americans who died serving their country in Haiti.
UPDATE
I guess I misread one of Clinton's remarks, and the State Department did identify the three EFMs as Andrew Wyllie's wife Laurence and his two young sons Evan and Baptiste. The way the statement was worded, I thought he was employed with the United Nations, and while tragically losing his family, I worried there still were three more EFMs the government had not identified. Here is an article from The Newport Daily Express and another that shares some about the family. Regardless, I still was upset with Crowley's choice of words, which is why I decided to leave this post up.
Monday, January 25, 2010
AEFM?: Afterthought on Errors, Fallacies and Misstatements
So unlike several other foreign service office-related blogs, I never bothered to include a disclaimer stating that the government and I are not related, our views are different and so on and so forth.
I didn’t think it was particularly necessary as I am not a government employee, and my first posted concluded with me stating, in so many words, f*#$ the government.
But after posting for a couple of weeks, and as I have learned more about the FSO subculture, I’ve decided to add this small disclaimer: Sometimes, I’m wrong, just slightly off, or embellishing.
I was inspired to add this disclaimer after doing a little research and discovering I’m not technically an EFM because that acronym denotes a dependent status. Now, I imagine Natalie would argue that I am indeed more dependent on her than I ought to be, but as far as the government is concerned, I’m actually an Appointment Eligible Family Member (AEFM), because I could serve as a direct-hire employee for either a Family Member Appointment (FMA) or Temporary Appointment (TEMP) position. (Holy crap this just keeps spawning more acronyms!)
AEFM interferes with my blog title, and as I have no intention of ever working for the U.S. government (one my many mantras, to Natalie’s chagrin and possible embarrassment is: “I don’t work for the government; the government works for me.”), so therefore, I have no problem dropping the “A” and never mentioning it again.
So in conclusion, please don’t take my postings as any official government stance and please don’t hold me accountable for any inaccuracies. My writings are based on memories intended to be entertaining, and I don’t double check facts and figures.
I didn’t think it was particularly necessary as I am not a government employee, and my first posted concluded with me stating, in so many words, f*#$ the government.
But after posting for a couple of weeks, and as I have learned more about the FSO subculture, I’ve decided to add this small disclaimer: Sometimes, I’m wrong, just slightly off, or embellishing.
I was inspired to add this disclaimer after doing a little research and discovering I’m not technically an EFM because that acronym denotes a dependent status. Now, I imagine Natalie would argue that I am indeed more dependent on her than I ought to be, but as far as the government is concerned, I’m actually an Appointment Eligible Family Member (AEFM), because I could serve as a direct-hire employee for either a Family Member Appointment (FMA) or Temporary Appointment (TEMP) position. (Holy crap this just keeps spawning more acronyms!)
AEFM interferes with my blog title, and as I have no intention of ever working for the U.S. government (one my many mantras, to Natalie’s chagrin and possible embarrassment is: “I don’t work for the government; the government works for me.”), so therefore, I have no problem dropping the “A” and never mentioning it again.
So in conclusion, please don’t take my postings as any official government stance and please don’t hold me accountable for any inaccuracies. My writings are based on memories intended to be entertaining, and I don’t double check facts and figures.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
A Call-to-Arms for Spanish Assistance
Rosetta Stone. My Spanish lifeline, yet also my biggest hurdle.
For the uninitiated, part of the FSO training regimen involves necessary language training. So the government (thanks, taxpayers!) provides intensive language courses that essentially become the forever-studying-for-overseas' (FSO’s) fulltime job.
Kindly enough, the government (thanks again, taxpayers!) also opens the door to us, eagers-for-mastering (EFMs) a foreign language, if space permits. Of course, the other qualification is if the family’s economic situation permits.
But as I have to work 40-hour weeks to pay the bills, the government (really, taxpayers, you are outdoing yourselves!) provides an online version of the Rosetta Stone for spouses unable to give up their jobs and attend classes.
In the early going, I was a big fan. I still remain relatively impressed with the program, but it suffers from a huge drawback. No English. I hope I’m not giving away too many secrets, but the program works by using images and matching the images to the Spanish words. Up until my specific gripe, which is coming shortly, I’ve actually preferred this method because the pictures are more memorable than an English translation.
But the problem arises when the lessons get more complex, and they are trying to describe a verb that doesn’t really provide an action. The first encounter was the verb tener, “to have.” After a few images, I was able to piece that one together, but how do you illustrated someone having something?
Now, I’m only up to the second chapter, and I’ve reached a sticking point. The offending sentence: Yo quiero a mi padre. And several variations with third person subjects like: El nino quiere a su perro. And then the corresponding pictures show either a person hugging his/her father or a boy hugging his dog, etc.
As we all remember from Taco Bell commercials, when a chihuahua says “Yo quiero Taco Bell,” it means it wants Taco Bell. But we’ve never heard that dog utter “Yo quiero a Taco Bell.” What does that “a” mean? How does it affect the verb, querer?
The best of I’ve gathered is that it means “love,” but heaven forbid Rosetta Stone from providing a glossary of terms to address any confusion for their images’ inadequacies. So if anyone speaks Spanish, could you please help me with this translation?
For the uninitiated, part of the FSO training regimen involves necessary language training. So the government (thanks, taxpayers!) provides intensive language courses that essentially become the forever-studying-for-overseas' (FSO’s) fulltime job.
Kindly enough, the government (thanks again, taxpayers!) also opens the door to us, eagers-for-mastering (EFMs) a foreign language, if space permits. Of course, the other qualification is if the family’s economic situation permits.
But as I have to work 40-hour weeks to pay the bills, the government (really, taxpayers, you are outdoing yourselves!) provides an online version of the Rosetta Stone for spouses unable to give up their jobs and attend classes.
In the early going, I was a big fan. I still remain relatively impressed with the program, but it suffers from a huge drawback. No English. I hope I’m not giving away too many secrets, but the program works by using images and matching the images to the Spanish words. Up until my specific gripe, which is coming shortly, I’ve actually preferred this method because the pictures are more memorable than an English translation.
But the problem arises when the lessons get more complex, and they are trying to describe a verb that doesn’t really provide an action. The first encounter was the verb tener, “to have.” After a few images, I was able to piece that one together, but how do you illustrated someone having something?
Now, I’m only up to the second chapter, and I’ve reached a sticking point. The offending sentence: Yo quiero a mi padre. And several variations with third person subjects like: El nino quiere a su perro. And then the corresponding pictures show either a person hugging his/her father or a boy hugging his dog, etc.
As we all remember from Taco Bell commercials, when a chihuahua says “Yo quiero Taco Bell,” it means it wants Taco Bell. But we’ve never heard that dog utter “Yo quiero a Taco Bell.” What does that “a” mean? How does it affect the verb, querer?
The best of I’ve gathered is that it means “love,” but heaven forbid Rosetta Stone from providing a glossary of terms to address any confusion for their images’ inadequacies. So if anyone speaks Spanish, could you please help me with this translation?
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
EFM: Explaining Flag (Day) Meticulously
This post is a corollary to the previous post intended to provide a little more insight into our bidding process and what happened on Flag Day.First, let’s talk about the bid list. This is where dreams begin, and are eventually dashed. Going back even further, as Natalie was accepted into the 148th A-100 class (good job, honey!), I immediately started imagining life in Istanbul, a Mediterranean resort, any Caribbean island, or an African safari, etc. Believe it or not, I was not fantasizing about a Mexican desert.
But most of those ideas quickly were put aside as we developed our bidding strategy. A very quick explanation for the uninitiated: in our case, there were 90 or so A-100 members and about 90 or so posts to bid on. While the State Department would like to send everyone some place they would like to go, ultimately, the State needs to put people where they need them the most.
But to gauge where federal service oath-takers (FSOs) want to go, they rank every possible destination on a scale of three resulting in a fairly ambiguous hierarchy. (I forget if one is the highest or lowest ranking, so for these purposes, I will designate as high, low and medium bids).
So our strategy was to highly rank posts that would require Natalie to learn a world language (French, Portuguese or Spanish) because she is required to be fluent in one by the end of her first five years to receive tenure. With that in mind, we ranked all English-speaking posts (or posts that do not require fluency in a second language) as low essentially eliminating London, Sydney, Kingston, Geneva and Washington.
Using this language criterion, we also shelved my favorite destinations because we decided it would not be practical to learn Greek, Nepali or Turkish because those languages are suitable for one country only. So Athens, Kathmandu, Istanbul and other such locales got ranked medium as a not-too-shabby consolation prize if we did not get any of our high bids.
The second criterion we considered was gaining some equity; in State speak, equity essentially is how many bonus points you get in bidding on your second post, the less desirable the post, the more equity you get.
In hindsight, however, we were not very consistent in applying this as Port au Prince, Haiti, with its 45 equity points (the second highest number as equity tops out at 50 and seems to be awarded in intervals of five) was only a medium on our list while Hermosillo only had 10 points at the time we bid. Apparently it was boosted to 15 recently, so we’ve got that, which is nice.
One final contributing factor was the Mexico issue. On our bid list, there were about 15 Mexican posts, meaning almost 20% of the 148th would go somewhere in Mexico. To show that we were at least considering the possibility of moving to Mexico, we ranked some of the destinations high such Hermosillo, Merida and others (I think Tijuana and Guadalajara) and the rest were medium including Mexico City, Nuevo Laredo, Matamoros, and the dreaded Ciudad Juarez, which four members of the 148th were assigned.
Weeks after submitting our final bid list rankings, Flag Day arrived. Sitting in the audience with my sister-in-law, her husband and a copy of our bid list, we waited in anticipation of the announcement with thoughts on Maputo, Mozambique; Montevideo, Uruguay; Sao Paulo, Brazil; Lome, Togo; and a few other destinations sticking out prominently in my mind.
Even before the first flags were distributed, they announced a few posts that would not be filled, some of which were on our high list. This got me excited that if they were not filling all of those on our high list, it must mean we have one of our highs. (I later learned that this is not necessarily true).
Slowly, the process seemed to drag as first all of the D.C. posts were distributed, and they were numerous. Then a few of our highs were given out. Then a couple of posts I dreaded (and silently cheered) were given to others.
Then Montevideo was gone followed by the Brazilian posts and Lome and a few other African posts that fascinated me.
Our high list was depleting, as we were in the latter half of names called off until it seemed we were down to Maputo. I was certain of it. I think Natalie was certain of it, too, as we would exchange glances from time to time.
Then Maputo was announced, and it was not us. As I crossed it off my printout, I quickly scanned to see what our remaining highs were. Then I saw Hermosillo, and it seemed that as soon as I discovered that high on our list, almost instantaneously, the master of ceremonies announced “Hermosillo, Mexico” and before she even added my wife’s name (which she missed pronounced our surname), I looked at my sister-in-law and said this was us.
Natalie and I made a classic mistake, which was to focus to the point of obsession only a handful of posts, when really, the entire list is a possibility. She later confessed she did not even remember ranking Hermosillo as high, and when the ceremony ended and we went to meet Natalie, there was a few seconds where the disappointment could be seen on her face and I worried she was going to have a breakdown.
But by the time the post-ceremony happy hour ended, and after a few Coronas, she was genuinely excited about Hermosillo. (A quick aside, during the happy hour, I asked the bartender if she had any Mexican beers, and she said no. I questioned further inquiring about Dos Equis or Corona, causing her to reply, “Oh, I do have Corona.” How does a bartender not know the origin of Corona? Dos Equis, I was willing to forgive, but Corona? Really?).
So that is our cautionary tale about how to prepare yourself for Flag Day as well as some advice on filling out a bid list.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Beware Government Acronyms
First, a quick thank you and welcome to the inaugural posting of Ef’m.
Before I delve too much into the back story of why I’m here, let me quickly explain that I’m a late technology adapter. It wasn’t until 2005 that I finally signed off on this whole DVD thing (though I’m still not entirely sure it bests VHS cassettes considering the whole susceptibility to scratches aspect) and I remain strongly opposed to creating an online networking account (read as Facebook, LinkedIn, etc.). This is my first blog post, and I’ve been dragged in kicking and screaming to some degree.
Reminding you once again of my penchant as a late-adapter, this blog really is about a year and a half behind in events, so let’s get up to speed.
During the summer of 2008, my wife, Natalie, casually informed me she wants to apply to be a foreign service officer (FSO--the acronyms begin), which means we will be living all over the world, and it is a very long application process that could take years. I gave my blessing and file that thought away in my soon-to-be-dismissed section of my memory bank.
Long story short, she passes every test on her first go around (good job, honey!) and miraculously squeaks her way into the 148th A-100 class. For the uninitiated, an A-100 class is group of any number (seems to between 75 and 100 these days) of approved FSO applicants that will complete the six-week introductory training course before moving onto their specializations. There are several A-100 classes every year.
Somewhere in that process, Natalie becomes an FSO, and I became an eligible family member (EFM). Yuck! Where did the government get the right to turn me into an acronym—and a lame one at that?
Even FSO is a bit acrid, so I’ve re-acronized the government’s distasteful acronyms. These are a little more flexible and can change with the moods. Most often, FSO now means fervent significant other, but the “F” can be upgraded to favorable, fantastic, or fabulous; or it can be downgraded to fascist, fastidious, or when I’m really angry, fatuous.
But what to call myself and others in my position? This was more difficult, because it risks following into the same trap the government did—generalizing us into a group, and in essence, marginalizing us. So generically, I’m fine with efficient familial manager, but like with FSO, I’m sure Natalie will have different EFMs for me such as exhaustive, fat malcontent, or extremely flexible mainstay, depending on how supportive I’m being at the time.
The key, I suppose, is to not let the government dictate too much as to what we are supposed to be. Yeah, I understand for legal purposes, they need some generic terms to cover who gets to travel on the taxpayers’ dime (thanks taxpayers!), but I’m not some generic EFM. So, I say ef’m.
Before I delve too much into the back story of why I’m here, let me quickly explain that I’m a late technology adapter. It wasn’t until 2005 that I finally signed off on this whole DVD thing (though I’m still not entirely sure it bests VHS cassettes considering the whole susceptibility to scratches aspect) and I remain strongly opposed to creating an online networking account (read as Facebook, LinkedIn, etc.). This is my first blog post, and I’ve been dragged in kicking and screaming to some degree.
Reminding you once again of my penchant as a late-adapter, this blog really is about a year and a half behind in events, so let’s get up to speed.
During the summer of 2008, my wife, Natalie, casually informed me she wants to apply to be a foreign service officer (FSO--the acronyms begin), which means we will be living all over the world, and it is a very long application process that could take years. I gave my blessing and file that thought away in my soon-to-be-dismissed section of my memory bank.
Long story short, she passes every test on her first go around (good job, honey!) and miraculously squeaks her way into the 148th A-100 class. For the uninitiated, an A-100 class is group of any number (seems to between 75 and 100 these days) of approved FSO applicants that will complete the six-week introductory training course before moving onto their specializations. There are several A-100 classes every year.
Somewhere in that process, Natalie becomes an FSO, and I became an eligible family member (EFM). Yuck! Where did the government get the right to turn me into an acronym—and a lame one at that?
Even FSO is a bit acrid, so I’ve re-acronized the government’s distasteful acronyms. These are a little more flexible and can change with the moods. Most often, FSO now means fervent significant other, but the “F” can be upgraded to favorable, fantastic, or fabulous; or it can be downgraded to fascist, fastidious, or when I’m really angry, fatuous.
But what to call myself and others in my position? This was more difficult, because it risks following into the same trap the government did—generalizing us into a group, and in essence, marginalizing us. So generically, I’m fine with efficient familial manager, but like with FSO, I’m sure Natalie will have different EFMs for me such as exhaustive, fat malcontent, or extremely flexible mainstay, depending on how supportive I’m being at the time.
The key, I suppose, is to not let the government dictate too much as to what we are supposed to be. Yeah, I understand for legal purposes, they need some generic terms to cover who gets to travel on the taxpayers’ dime (thanks taxpayers!), but I’m not some generic EFM. So, I say ef’m.
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