Why a Maid Isn't in the Cards

An appropriate subtitle: Because I was a stubborn ass, penny-pincher in the States, and that isn't going to change just because I'm in Mexico.

I appreciate the thoughtful suggestions, but this one just won't work with me. I actually gave it a long, serious thought the other day, and I found myself getting physically ill.

I'm sure maids are great and they help a lot people get through the day-to-day living in a foreign country not only through their cleaning services but also through the insights they can share into the local culture and language.

A.) Hiring a maid would put me out of a job. While the freelance work trickles in ever so slowly, I'm not bringing much to the table financially. But I can save the house a little money by doing all of the cooking and house maintenance instead of outsourcing it (by the way, I dropped the term cleaning because that is a losing battle. As soon as I stop sweeping one corner and move on, that corner is already getting dirty again. So house maintenance it is.) This goes beyond contribution, too. It is hard to replace the satisfaction of doing a job well, even if it is only unskilled labor.

Consequently, my toys have changed quite a bit. This is my cleaning collection to date. Seems like every weekend I add a new piece. And the Swifter Jet is on its way.

2.) Not only would hiring a maid put me out of a job, but maintaining the house is a large part of my day. Given the chores on my list, we're talking at least two hours of work - usually more.

c.) Have I mentioned yet that I'm cheap? Just for the same reasons I can never bring myself to buy a second coffee pot, I can't justify buying something I already have or paying for a service I can do myself.

IV.) Unlike many other countries, the culture here is too different from American culture. Even more so here than in other parts of Mexico. The people here have been or want to go the States often to do their shopping or to go to Disney Land or live (legally or otherwise). They really are not all that interested in Mexican culture. And other than a few bizarre ingredients, the food isn't that exotic either. I have faith in my ability to pick up on a few of the differences without an instructor.

• And finally, I have alternatives for learning the language skills. I have the Stone. I will be attending a weekly course at the Consulate for Expat Families in Mexico (EFMs). And to top it all off, I'm in the process of signing up for the Distance Learning Program as suggested by a fellow male EFM, or BRO if you'd prefer, from Locke'd Up Abroad. See, I am capable of taking some suggestions.

And if I still can't handle Spanish after all of that, then I'll consider the maid thing again, with a healthy side of Pepto to help me swallow my pride.

EFM: Evidence For Moods

If you were reading through the comments in the first part of the leaky ceiling story, the last one on there might have seemed like an overreaction.

In actuality, I'll Take Mine...To Go, Please! was responding to a comment I had left on another blog. To quote Shannon from Cyberbones:

You know that handy little chart that floats around diagramming the stages of acceptance at a new post? If you are not FS it goes something like this: honeymoon, depression, resigned acceptance, happiness. Well I completely skip the honeymoon period everytime.

I added her comment section that my honeymoon period is over and I feel stuck in the depression. (Not to worry, family, that is an overstatement. This is not a call for help.) I also asked for a copy of said schematic. Well, ask and you will receive, which is where I'll Take Mine...To Go, Please! came to the rescue. (And thank you very much for that!)

OK, so first off, how did Natalie spend from September 2009 through June 2010 in A-100 (introduction to the foreign service, essentially) and Federally Supervised Instructions (FSI) without ever receiving a copy of this thing? How did I attend three or four FSI courses and never receive this thing? Sure, learning about how to seat guests at a state dinner is a skill I use everyday, but in hindsight, I wish they offered a course on coping with cultural adaptation instead of etiquette.

So moving across the chart, I didn't really have the pre-departure ups and downs. I wasn't excited about pack-out day or living in a hotel for 10 days, but it had no bearing on my emotional well-being.

I definitely enjoyed an initial honeymoon stage, or as I like to think of it, becoming accustomed to this awesome house - leaky roof aside. But after about a week or so, I began to slip into what the chart refers to as culture shock/acute homesickness. I don't know if those words feel appropriate for what I was actually feeling or not, but you get the picture. The emotional well-being red line dipped.

(Important case study note, in which I'm the case study: The chart, while cool and scientific looking, is a generalization. In my particular case, I think my honeymoon and culture shock stages were more intertwined and instead of a nice smooth curvy line, mine is more jagged with more ups and downs. Even in the culture shock area, there are still good days; it's just that the bad days are a little more intense than bad days back home and a little more frequent.)

So because FSI has failed us all by its lack of cultural adaptation class, I'll offer my four lessons from my own struggles.

1. I wish I would have been more studious in learning Spanish. This is 100% my fault, and I accept the blame, but that isn't helping much right now. I've been using the Stone a bit more (still don't particularly like it), and Spanish class is to commence soon at the Consulate. I hope ironing out this inability-to-communicate wrinkle will make life here better, but I'm not putting all of my eggs in this basket.

2. Speaking of eggs in a single basket, I wish I wasn't so reliant on a single client for my freelance work. The problem with working with this magazine - other than the fact that the editor holds a personal grudge against me - is that both the editor and publisher are lousy communicators and fear confrontations. So are they not responding to my e-mails because they are angry with me, are just being lazy about hitting the respond button, or do they just not want to tell me they think my story ideas suck? Another situation in which I saw the red flags before coming here, but I decided to leave it all to chance that it would work out.

3. I miss my stuff. I'm not really a possessions-oriented person, but I miss my coffee pot, food processor, toaster and/or toaster oven and cookbooks. I also miss our DVD player, DVDs (and VHS tapes) and books. I feel like Steve Martin from The Jerk. "I don't need this or this. Just this ashtray...And this paddle game ... And that's all I need. I don't need one other thing, not one...I need this." (And yes, that is my second movie reference in as many posts.) So I wish we had better planned our air freight.

4. This is the big one - managing expectations. I'd like to say I came here with no expectations. I thought I was coming here with no expectations. But after the first couple of weeks here, I found myself saying to myself, "This is not what I expected," so I must have expected something, right?

I had heard Hermosillo described as a small town within a big city. I really have no idea what that means. But I grew up in a small town. I went to college and had my first jobs in a small town. Hermosillo is not a small town by any stretch of the imagination. In a small town, you can count the number of stoplights on two hands or less. In a small town, there is two or three main roads that go no further than two miles without leaving the city limits. In a small town, you can live anywhere and still walk to what the locals refer to as its downtown.

Hermosillo has almost a million people here (some anticipate that the 2010 census will push past 1 million). Sure, there aren't any skyscrapers like in big U.S. cities, but a small town has like 50,000 people at most, not a million. And it is spread out. There are a couple of downtownish shopping areas, but none in walking distance from where we live. Not that you would want to walk in this heat anyway, but still.

In truth, having seen a few pictures of our home before we arrived, I didn't have high expectations for it, so I was pleasantly surprised when we got here. The few descriptions I had of Hermosillo had me expecting something else, and given my current standing on the emotional well-being line, I guess that wasn't such a pleasant surprise.

But with any luck and some hard work, will be getting the rest of our stuff soon and I'll get a better grasp on Spanish. And maybe the working situation will improve - it seems to ebb and flow. And after some time, I'll get used to this version of a "small town." For starters, just having this chart bumped up my emotional well-being line. It was refreshing to know that this is such a common experience there is a scientific-looking chart to describe it.

Selling Out, or Buying In?

There has been a slight change to the look of this corner of the World Wide Web; one that made Natalie gasp. "How did you get corporate sponsorship?" I signed up for it through Google. "How much did it cost?" Nothing.

It cost nothing in terms of money, that is. Maybe a little pride. But hey, I hear there is a lot of money to make on this whole Internet thing, so I thought I'd dip my toe into the water and see how that is done.

So hoila, Google AdSense is now part of this blog.

And in about one year, if I'm lucky, I'll earn like $10. But hey, that can buy a taco dinner for two here.

In all honesty, I signed up for AdSense and Amazon Associates because I was curious how these things worked. Because in an ideal situation, eventually I'd like to try and create my own Internet-based business. That is part of the reason I started this blog to begin with - to get an idea of what foreign service people are reading about, writing about and want to know.

For the mean time, I'm happy (sorta) with just doing the freelance writing thing and running this blog. It would be nice, however, to reduce or drop the freelance thing altogether and focus solely on my own Internet business. The appeal of such a system is that I won't have to be reliant on other people's table scraps to find work, and the Internet, so I've been told, can be access all over the world.

So in the mean time, I'm dabbling a little bit into these little ads to get a better idea on how they work. Feel free to ignore them at your leisure (hope my advertisers didn't read that). And I'll be keeping an eye on them to make sure they aren't promoting a product I'd never use. For example, I already have set to filter any Get Rich Fast Scheme ads as well as dating and sexually explicit ads.

But if I see an ad pop up for say, Verizon, then I'm canceling this thing. Or Papa John's. Those two companies find themselves on the wrong end of my do-not-endorse list.

I have a little less control with the AdSense than with the Amazon Associates, at least as far as I can tell from my first day of these things. Google sells my space for fractions of a penny to the highest bidder, and the bidders will be people who think their products somehow match up with what kind of content I'm providing. Good luck with that.

With Amazon, while I'm typing away, there is a little search box on my right that I can type in my own topic, and it will provide some search results that I can then link to. Then if someone clicks on that link to buy said product, I get a little something back. I opted for a couple of books from the "for Dummies" series because I had used one of them to teach myself a little about HTML, and it seemed pretty useful. I officially endorse these books.

I also added an Amazon search box in the lefthand column, though I don't think I collect any royalties if you use it. As far as I know, it is just a service I'm providing for you, my readers, and the good people at Amazon, which, as many of us have or will learn, is an essential online shopping tool. And no, Amazon didn't pay me to say that (though if they feel grateful, they know how to reach me - wink, wink, nod, nod).

So there you have it. That is why I look like I'm selling out. If you don't like it, let me know, and if enough complaints come in, I'll consider dropping the ads, but in the meantime, I think I've raised $0.00005 so far. Talk about a get rich quick scheme!

EFM: Enduring Free of Maids

Given this past blog posting on domestic employees/maids, it should come as no surprise that I've decided to tackle the house cleaning by myself.

After I got done with all of the unpacking, which was less than a day's chore, it wasn't like I had a whole lot going on anyway, especially before we got the Internet hooked up. Now that I'm finally back in touch with my contractors for freelance writing, I might find that my day is filling up quickly between doing work and practicing Spanish that a little extra assistance might be nice. But I doubt it.

But I've gained a new appreciation about how much work goes into keeping a house clean. The real reason women entered the workforce, I think, is based solely on the fact that housework is much more difficult than office work. I've done both now, and it really hasn't even been a contest. Then you figure in the whole added benefit of bringing in a paycheck as well and is it really a head-scratcher as to why women wanted out of the house?

We live in a fairly large home by our standards. There's a few rooms we never use. And we have no children, so looking over a house shouldn't be too great a task, you'd think.

Someone(s) had warned me that there is a lot of sand in Mexico, and it finds ways to your home no matter what you do.

And while I don't have a child to clean after, I do have a dog, and she leaves behind lots of hairs. Between the sand and dog hair, hardly a day goes by that I don't have the broom and dustpan in my hands for at least an hour.

And sometimes, I think Tiffy just likes to make more work for me. Here is her eating. Notice that she doesn't "hold over" her bowls. No, that would be too easy. Instead she takes a kibble or two out of the bowl at a time and chomps over the floor.

The other aspect of being a "home owner" is keeping a yard. There is a movement a foot that whenever a diplomat moves out, if he/she did not tend to the yard (or pay someone to do it for them) and it is either overgrown of burned out, the housing management company tears out the yard and either paves it (backyard) or fills it with rocks (front yard). Our front yard is full of rocks.

But we do have a grassy backyard, which equates to another couple hours of work for me each week with hedge clippers. There isn't enough grass to justify a lawn mower, and if I found a decent electric edger, I'd consider using that, but I've only seen gas edgers.

Then throw in laundry, dog walking, cooking and doing the dishes, and it isn't too hard to see how I fill most of my days.

It is a lot of work, but another part of the reason why I want to do it myself other than to fill my schedule is to take some ownership of this house. One of my first impressions of this place was "we just haven't lived here long enough to make this feel like our home as opposed to guests." One good way to not feel like a guest is to not have strangers come in every so often and do all of the cleaning for you. So far that is working, as I feel responsible for this place now.

And for all of that sand and all of that hair.

The Stay-at-Home Husband

FRASER, Col. - I've been doing this freelancing, work-from-home thing for about 10 weeks now, so this is as good as time as any to take a step back and evaluate.

Generally speaking, it has been a God-send. I have so much extra time to myself, it can be overwhelming at times trying to fill a day.

But that is not to say that being a stay-at-home, quasi-employed husband is not without its stresses. Sure, I can hardly tell the difference between Wednesday and Saturday (though I've worked out a system: If Natalie wakes up first, it is usually a weekday, and if I wake up first, it is usually a weekend), but I still enjoy the rest and relaxation a long weekend like Memorial Day provides.

And that was my not so subtle attempt to provide an excuse to post this picture of my view from my D.C. sister- and brother-in-law's Colorado home as I type this entry.


OK, enjoy that? I am. But back to the task at hand.

Being a stay-at-home, quasi-employed husband, or an Economically Feeble Money-provider (EFM), while offering more time to watch the History International Channel while preparing dinner, adds a bit to our financial stress.

By my estimates, I've earned about the same amount of income had I been employed this whole time, but getting my contractors to reimburse me in a timely manner has proven most difficult and frustrating. Which has caused me to spend parts of my day scouring the competition for freelance opportunities as well as a few other outlets.

The great unknown of when I'll get paid again as well as how much billable work I'll be able to do from week to week and month to month, especially while we're still living in Virginia, as been very stressful.

I'm not looking for sympathy. As I've said, I love not having to drive to an office and deal with people with whom I don't particularly like on a daily basis. I like being able to determine how I spend most of my day. I like being able to go to the post office and being the only customer.

So while I've gained a lot of perks, I think it is easily lost upon others that this newer life doesn't necessarily mean I'm living on Easy Street. Every time I hear, or induce, someone say something to the effect, "But you do nothing all day," I bristle and feel insulted.

I'm sure this stems from several things going on. For one, there is truth to the statement, which probably what makes it the most cutting. But there also is some judging and condescension that I don't appreciate. As I and others have discussed, in the United States at least, it isn't playing second fiddle to a woman's career.

So I don't feel guilty about needing a little R&R get-away in Colorado. And I definitely feel as though I've earned it.

Role Reversals

I wouldn't go so far as to list this as an example of cognitive dissonance, but these changes certainly have been shocking to me.

Yesterday, Natalie and I got our visas to work in Mexico. It is official; we are leaving the United States to find work in Mexico. Five years ago, I never would have believed that statement.

I'm also happy to report that last week, after my freelance contract came to an end, I was able to come to terms with my old company to infinitely extend that contract, which, to paraphrase our all-knowing Veep, Joe Biden, "is a big effin deal!" Go read any other foreign service spouse blog, an inevitably there will be multiple posts about finding work.

(Speaking of work, before I left the office, I wrote an article about a young ophthalmologist running for the Republican nomination for senate from the Commonwealth of Kentucky. I'm happy to say that Rand Paul, M.D., rode the EF'M bump to a primary victory and is now the front runner to win a seat in the Senate. But Dr. Paul, you'd do well to heed your father's advice: "Be careful, you could get elected.")

But our moving to Mexico to find better paying jobs is not an isolated incident. In January, Ford officials announced they were moving battery-production jobs from Mexico to Michigan, because, you know, the labor is cheaper.

Hermosillo has a Ford plant, though I can't say with any certainty that it is that plant that will be losing jobs. Ford has several Mexican plants. But months ago when I knew even less about Hermosillo than I know today (which still is very little), I said it was a combination of Texas from the cowboy, beef-producing aspect and Detroit from the Ford plant, but, I said the difference was this plant actually made cars, which means Hermosillo = Texatroit.

Well, if the Hermosillo plant is the plant losing jobs to cheap labor, my analogy will be even more true as an industrial city will be losing jobs to outsourcing.

Five years ago, I definitely never ever would have seen that one coming. Role reversals abound in the foreign service.

Jobs vs. Careers

Many of you directed your comments yesterday about my perception of being an Emasculated Form of a Man (EFM) to a grander view of self worth and employment, which is fine because that is where I was headed today anyway. The two are definitely linked; I was just highlighting my opinion that I think it might be especially hard on men given social norms and some of the data.

I also need to give a special Clairvoyancy Award to the authors of I'll take mine...to go, please! for using the actual phrasing of jobs and careers, because that is exactly what I was planning on covering today.

(A quick aside: Thank you to all who included overly generous, flattering remarks in your comments.)

The instructors at Free Studies Inside (FSI; by the way, three courses, eight or so instructors, and all have been women...OK, OK, I'll let it go now) were kind enough to us on Friday to no sugarcoat the facts. Even those of us fortunate enough to have portable careers are going to arrive at a post where we will be unemployed.

According to their November 2009 data, 2,470 (25%) EFMs worked inside the mission (which is somewhat Christian-speak for the U.S. government building at post); 1,295 (13%) worked outside the mission; and 5,978 (62%) were unemployed. Within that last group, about half would've liked to been employed.

Here is some more interesting data regarding employment that I couldn't really find a place for, so I will unceremoniously throw it at you now. The State Department breaks the world into regions: Africa (AF), East Asia Pacific (EAP), Europe (EUR), Near East Asia (NEA), South Central Asia (SCA) and the Western Hemisphere (WHA).

Childcare is so expensive in Europe and the Western Hemisphere that many EFMs opt for unemployment because it makes more sense financially, and so those to regions have higher unemployed EFM rates at 66% and 65%, respectively. Also at the bottom (66%) is East Asia Pacific due to the fact that it is illegal for EFMs to work in several of those countries including China, Thailand, and more. Near East Asia and South Central Asia both are higher than average (53% and 47% unemployed, respectively) because both of those regions have many unaccompanied tours, so unless the EFM is working at the mission/post, they aren't coming anyway. Finally, Africa with 48% unemployment gets mad props for doing the most to provide work for interested EFMs, and have a better unemployment rate to show for it.

But what kind of work are EFMs finding?

The FSI instructors admitted that most of the mission work is clerical, so unless your previous career was a secretary/office manager/or whatever the going PC term is these days, you are working a job and not necessarily furthering your career.

But there are some career paths that offer some hope, especially for those who work in the local economy, which is foreign service speak for working outside the mission/post. For example, about 400 EFMs were able to find work teaching, which represents about a third of EFMS working outside the mission.

I fall into the next largest group, which is freelancing (189 EFMs also found this kind of work), though I also overlap a bit into telecommuting (84 EFMs did this) because I'm freelancing for an American company. There are freelancing jobs in the local economies.

Lawyers and medical workers also find employment, though the problem here is that American certification does not always transfer to the post.

Throw in some military jobs, non-government organizations and international organizations that pretty much is all that is available in the local economies.

What, your career is not represented in that group?

For the creative and entrepreneurial type, you can create your own business; 141 EFMs took this route last year. Lest we forget, there were 9,743 EFMs last year in all, so this apparently is a difficult undertaking. But, in my opinion (and was shared by one of the instructors), this seems to be the most secured way to have a career no matter where you are posted.

And finally, there is the volunteering option. But this comes with an often overlooked caveat. While volunteering can be personally rewarding, our instructors suggested that we should be more selective in these endeavors that Americans usually tend to be. In other words, search for volunteering options that you can use to further your career for when you return to the States.

That's right, we will be coming back to the States, and there is no reason we should be putting ourselves at competitive disadvantages because we were accommodating to our Federally-employed Significant Others (FSOs) and not looking out for our own interests, too.

I don't think this can be stressed enough. There will be tours in Washington, D.C., and many of us will not be able to afford this city on one government salary. Or perhaps after doing a few tours, your family decides to either take a break or leave the foreign service life altogether. Then what? You just spent the past 10 years or whatever making yourself less marketable.

It is imperative upon us to keep our own career goals on task because we will not be getting much, if any, help from anyone else.

That ends this rant, and as a reward for your patience, I'll update the Official Unofficial Chart of Acronyms in the coming days to cover all of the new gems I picked up from my FSI courses.

A Monday Mea Culpa

This morning, I had to go back an re-read what I posted over the weekend, especially after reading some of the feedback.

And first, I need to thank everyone who shared their stories and advice about how they have handled their cell phone situations.

But after reading again what I posted, I fear that in my effort to not point to accusatory of a finger at one group, I perhaps painted the entire foreign service community with too large of a brush.

I think another contributing factor is the fact that perhaps I've had it too easy so far. I've been riding a streak of good luck that has included nailing down some employment, getting to start freelancing early (today, yippee!), being a part of a fun and active A-100 group, and have had the opportunity to meet many of the people who will be moving to Hermosillo about the same time we will. And to top all of this off, I have found that this blogging experience has been rewarding as well as I've learned a lot from reading others and from getting feedback on my posts as well.

So I was about due for some adversity, I suppose. After all, it is not like I'm being asked to stand idly by state-side while Natalie is shipped to Iraq for a year.

But where I probably was too hard on in some areas, I also might have erred in not highlighting how critical a cell phone that meets my parameters is to my situation.

Blepharokeratoconjunctivitis. My options are to have a cell phone that can record that word and its equally daunting friends or go to medical school. The ability to do my job is dependent on my having a cell phone. (Though doing interviews via Skype is intriguing; you deserve some type of award for creativity, Donna.)

And I consider having my own government-free job at post to being critical for maintaining my independence and semblance of self importance.

I do want to thank everyone again for their concern and thoughts, and apologize if I offended anyone by being too whiny. I'm a whistle blower by nature, which is great for journalism, but unfortunate for forming social bonds.

Cell Phone Woes

What seems like what should have been a rather simple task has proven to be a trying, soul-searching, several weeks-long event.

A couple of weeks ago, I used this blog to ask for advice about owning a cell phone abroad and didn't get any feedback. If you don't remember, haven't been reading that long and/or didn't feel like reading that post, I need a phone I can use in Mexico to call doctors in the United States and around the world, and the phone needs to have a recording mechanism. My current phone, over there on the right, has no such bells and whistles.

About the same time, I also tried reaching out to the people already working at post in Hermosillo to find out what the spouses do about a cell phone. Unfortunately, I came by the same advice, which was none.

Next, I turned to LiveLines, which yielded a couple of responses, but it came up short on the, "Well, this is what I did when I moved to Mexico," statement I was hoping to receive. As I was awaiting responses from LiveLines, I did some online research, which had the added benefit of locating this Web site, which has more information about Hermosillo than I have found any where else, and it at least got me pointed in the right direction regarding cell phones.

I was getting frustrated because I expected more help from the supposed tight-knit, supportive group that the Foreign Service family is supposed to be. I couldn't imagine that I was the first Entrepenural Freelancing Machine (EFM) to move to Mexico. My fruitless search for advice on this topic has been my worst experience with the Foreign Service to date because it was the first time I've felt isolated and, to an extent, lonely during this process.

(I realize I'm committing a faux pas by saying less-than-flattering remarks about current and future colleagues, and for what it's worth, Natalie isn't thrilled about this posting. But this is my blog about my thoughts, opinions and experiences, warts and all. That said, I'm exercising some restraint so as to not negatively effect her standing with her colleagues in case this gets read.)

So with what little information I had, Natalie and I went to the Pentagon City Mall to buy a new cell phone today. I knew enough from my research to know that Verizon did not have any good Mexican options, but as they are our current provider, I was ready to give them the first chance.

To no surprise, after we explained our condition, the salesman agreed that Verizon would not be able to help us.

So we went to the AT&T kiosk, and described our situation again, and the salesman described some rather undesirablely expensive options. Then he added his two cents that we would probably be best off buying an AT&T or T-Mobile phone, but hold off on buying a service plan until we reached Mexico and then signing a local contract with TelCel. (For full disclosure, AT&T and TelCel have some sort of financial relationship that I'm too lazy to understand, and definitely too lazy to understand and explain it. Also, only AT&T and T-Mobile phones can be used with a TelCel plan, as I understand it.)

I was impressed by both salesmen's honesty on the topic, and ultimately, Natalie and I decided not to get a cell phone for the time being.

But this still doesn't solve my current problem of trying to record interviews before we go to Mexico while I'm freelancing from home. Unfortunately, I can't buy an AT&T phone and use my Verizon plan on it; and doesn't this seem like a monopoly?

So on the way home we stopped at Best Buy to figure out what to do as a stop-gap measure. So I explained yet again my cell phone needs to a saleswoman and showed her my phone causing an audible gasp, a few giggles and perhaps a short look of horror.

After composing herself, she said she doesn't think there is anything that can be done as far as upgrades are concerned and led me to the audio recorders section. "You must really love that phone," she said during the walk. To which I explained that I'm indifferent, but it has served its purposes as a phone until now, which is why I'm ready to part with it.

In the endgame, I still have my same cell phone and will have to resort to putting docs on speaker phone during our interviews, which is not preferred but will have to suffice for a few months.

And I've had the unfortunate experience of feeling let down by the foreign service community, but I'm willing to give everyone the benefit of the doubt this once that perhaps this topic is so complicated and full of bad news that no one wanted to be the bearer of bad news, that there is no simple, inexpensive, desirable way to be a freelancer in Mexico for an international trade journal.

I just hope I don't have too many more experiences with the foreign service community like this one because it did evoke feelings of helplessness.

EFM: Employment Finale, March 5

The countdown unofficially began today when my publisher handed me a consulting contract that puts a big black circle around Friday, March 5. And it likely will really begin tomorrow when I sign it after making a couple of clarifications.

I've choked down this job since July 18, 2005, and during that time, I've interviewed for at least four different publications while applying for dozens more (more accurately, I started applying for jobs about six months after starting here and had my first interview about one year into this job).

And now the glorious light at the end of the tunnel can be seen, finally. Granted, it comes with the caveat that I'll still be depending on these people for freelance work, so I can't give that exit interview I've been dreaming of for years.

It also is not my intention to travel the world writing for this magazine, either. Ideally, I'll use this gig as a crutch for a year or less until I can find something more permanent or at least enough freelance work for publications I respect.

In this regard, March 5 represents the end of the tunnel, but it is not the end of the ride.

Beginning my freelance transition in March even though we aren't leaving for Hermosillo until late June is important because it will afford me more time to look around at other options.

It also affords me more time in general. This is an 8-to-5 job (actually 7:20 to 5:45 when accounting for commute) that I can get done in a few hours each week. Not only will I have time to explore other revenue-generating options, but I'll have more time to cook, exercise and watch March Madness. Really, March 5 couldn't be a better last day in that regards as Championship Week will be hitting its stride that day.

Now I just have to make it another week and a half, and then I'll get to start to enjoy my new found freedom.

Cell Assistance

Once again, I bring my problems to you. Y'all did such a good job answering my Spanish question, I thought I see if you could help me out with my cell phone situation.

I think it is important to reiterate that while I'm amazed by technology, I find that it is generally over the top. To wit, I've never spent money on a cell phone; I've always taken the giveaway phone that comes with the plan. After all, why do I need a phone that acts like a camera, video camera and computer when I already have those devices?

As I will be switching to a freelance career soon, and moving out of the country in the not too distant future, it is time for me to get a new phone. So I'm looking for advice or insights.

I have only a few of specifications.

The first is that I'm buying a cell phone, not a portable computer (in other words, I'm looking to do this on the cheap). I'm going to be working from home, so there always will be a computer nearby anyway. And I don't do facebook or twitter updates; hell, I don't even do text messaging. Communication is easy enough already with e-mail and cell phones, and I'd rather someone actually put forth a modicum of effort to reach me.

The second is that I want a phone that lends itself to easy conversation recording. Before you start judging me and get creeped out, let me add that my line of reporting requires a little assistance. I once wrote an article that included the word "blepharokeratoconjunctivitis." For those of you keeping score at home, that is 28 letters, which still isn't quite as long as the 34-letter word "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious," but I think the b-- word should get some bonus points for having an actual meaning instead of being nonsensical. (And to prove I have too much time on my hands right now, apparently there is a raging debate about the longest word in the English language. Well, maybe not raging, but the fact that people debate this kind of stuff...insert your own punchline here).

I don't have a science background, so whenever a physician drops a gem like that one on me, it is nice to have a recording of the conversation to lean on. Especially because many of these doctors are talking to me in between operations and don't have time to provide much explanation.

The third, and final, criterion is that it needs to be a phone I can use outside of the United States.

I think that about covers it, so if you know anything about cell phones, using non-government-issued phones overseas (thanks, taxpayers) or anything that I should know about but apparently don't because I didn't say anything about it in this post, please let your voice be heard.

EFM: Employment For Moi

In case you didn't know, it is snowing more in D.C. I've been out of the office since 10 a.m., Friday, Feb. 5. But I'm sick of snow, so I'm moving it into Haiti status; i.e., I'm done writing about it unless something new happens. And I'll take this opportunity to point out that even Snowstorm 4.0 through 5.0 has relegated Haiti to third or fourth story status, what is going on there deserves more attention than what is going on here.

OK. New topic. And really, this is the big one I've been putting off until I had the energy necessary to address it, and the answers to provide.

When we first started telling people about Natalie's acceptance into the foreign service (good job, honey!), the first two questions were, "When and where are you going?" and, "Is David and Tiffy going with you?" Usually the third question was, "What is David going to do?"

I usually mumble something about look for some freelance work, and I'm not worried about it because I really don't like my job anyway, and there is no room for me to grow there so this was an opportunity to re-evaluate my career. And yes, I'm pretty sure that was a run-on sentence.

Some quick background, I suppose, is necessary. After graduating with my extremely valuable degree in journalism (Why did my parents let me go through with that?), I reported for a couple of newspapers in southeast Ohio while Natalie worked on the Hill. I needed to find a job in D.C. for when we got married, and I landed a job with a health care magazine...at least, that is how they advertised it on journalismjobs.com.

I learned during the interviewing process that it was actually a trade journal on eye care, but I needed a job, the pay was decent, and I needed a job.

About 4.5 years later, and after a lot of angst, alcohol and job searches, I told the publisher and editor about this recent development, and asked about freelancing for them. While I get no satisfaction from the work, I do get some satisfaction from the paycheck, and they pay their freelancers better than their staff writers.

Well, they kind of gave me the run-around leaving me the impression they are ready to part ways. But last week, lo and behold, I had a meeting with the publisher in which he said he would be happy to keep me on staff as a freelancer, and he thinks it would be a good idea for me to start transitioning to life as a freelancer sooner rather than later.

Music to my ears. I first brought this up with them in October hoping to start freelancing at the beginning of the new year. So now it looks like I will get to start freelancing starting in the beginning of March.

I still do not see this as the long-term answer for my life as an Employee Forcefully living in Mexico (EFM), but this gives me some more time to figure things out while getting to work some and contributing a little money.