EFM: Evidence For Moods

If you were reading through the comments in the first part of the leaky ceiling story, the last one on there might have seemed like an overreaction.

In actuality, I'll Take Mine...To Go, Please! was responding to a comment I had left on another blog. To quote Shannon from Cyberbones:

You know that handy little chart that floats around diagramming the stages of acceptance at a new post? If you are not FS it goes something like this: honeymoon, depression, resigned acceptance, happiness. Well I completely skip the honeymoon period everytime.

I added her comment section that my honeymoon period is over and I feel stuck in the depression. (Not to worry, family, that is an overstatement. This is not a call for help.) I also asked for a copy of said schematic. Well, ask and you will receive, which is where I'll Take Mine...To Go, Please! came to the rescue. (And thank you very much for that!)

OK, so first off, how did Natalie spend from September 2009 through June 2010 in A-100 (introduction to the foreign service, essentially) and Federally Supervised Instructions (FSI) without ever receiving a copy of this thing? How did I attend three or four FSI courses and never receive this thing? Sure, learning about how to seat guests at a state dinner is a skill I use everyday, but in hindsight, I wish they offered a course on coping with cultural adaptation instead of etiquette.

So moving across the chart, I didn't really have the pre-departure ups and downs. I wasn't excited about pack-out day or living in a hotel for 10 days, but it had no bearing on my emotional well-being.

I definitely enjoyed an initial honeymoon stage, or as I like to think of it, becoming accustomed to this awesome house - leaky roof aside. But after about a week or so, I began to slip into what the chart refers to as culture shock/acute homesickness. I don't know if those words feel appropriate for what I was actually feeling or not, but you get the picture. The emotional well-being red line dipped.

(Important case study note, in which I'm the case study: The chart, while cool and scientific looking, is a generalization. In my particular case, I think my honeymoon and culture shock stages were more intertwined and instead of a nice smooth curvy line, mine is more jagged with more ups and downs. Even in the culture shock area, there are still good days; it's just that the bad days are a little more intense than bad days back home and a little more frequent.)

So because FSI has failed us all by its lack of cultural adaptation class, I'll offer my four lessons from my own struggles.

1. I wish I would have been more studious in learning Spanish. This is 100% my fault, and I accept the blame, but that isn't helping much right now. I've been using the Stone a bit more (still don't particularly like it), and Spanish class is to commence soon at the Consulate. I hope ironing out this inability-to-communicate wrinkle will make life here better, but I'm not putting all of my eggs in this basket.

2. Speaking of eggs in a single basket, I wish I wasn't so reliant on a single client for my freelance work. The problem with working with this magazine - other than the fact that the editor holds a personal grudge against me - is that both the editor and publisher are lousy communicators and fear confrontations. So are they not responding to my e-mails because they are angry with me, are just being lazy about hitting the respond button, or do they just not want to tell me they think my story ideas suck? Another situation in which I saw the red flags before coming here, but I decided to leave it all to chance that it would work out.

3. I miss my stuff. I'm not really a possessions-oriented person, but I miss my coffee pot, food processor, toaster and/or toaster oven and cookbooks. I also miss our DVD player, DVDs (and VHS tapes) and books. I feel like Steve Martin from The Jerk. "I don't need this or this. Just this ashtray...And this paddle game ... And that's all I need. I don't need one other thing, not one...I need this." (And yes, that is my second movie reference in as many posts.) So I wish we had better planned our air freight.

4. This is the big one - managing expectations. I'd like to say I came here with no expectations. I thought I was coming here with no expectations. But after the first couple of weeks here, I found myself saying to myself, "This is not what I expected," so I must have expected something, right?

I had heard Hermosillo described as a small town within a big city. I really have no idea what that means. But I grew up in a small town. I went to college and had my first jobs in a small town. Hermosillo is not a small town by any stretch of the imagination. In a small town, you can count the number of stoplights on two hands or less. In a small town, there is two or three main roads that go no further than two miles without leaving the city limits. In a small town, you can live anywhere and still walk to what the locals refer to as its downtown.

Hermosillo has almost a million people here (some anticipate that the 2010 census will push past 1 million). Sure, there aren't any skyscrapers like in big U.S. cities, but a small town has like 50,000 people at most, not a million. And it is spread out. There are a couple of downtownish shopping areas, but none in walking distance from where we live. Not that you would want to walk in this heat anyway, but still.

In truth, having seen a few pictures of our home before we arrived, I didn't have high expectations for it, so I was pleasantly surprised when we got here. The few descriptions I had of Hermosillo had me expecting something else, and given my current standing on the emotional well-being line, I guess that wasn't such a pleasant surprise.

But with any luck and some hard work, will be getting the rest of our stuff soon and I'll get a better grasp on Spanish. And maybe the working situation will improve - it seems to ebb and flow. And after some time, I'll get used to this version of a "small town." For starters, just having this chart bumped up my emotional well-being line. It was refreshing to know that this is such a common experience there is a scientific-looking chart to describe it.

"Welcome to Hermosillo, This Way to Your Cell"

Mexico is a dangerous place these days.

Just before we started our journey, we were greeted with this news about a gang fight outside Nogales (where we crossed the border) resulting in 21 dead. The cynical (i.e. Me) wouldn't be too upset by this news as it does not appear any innocents were harmed. In my book, this is somewhat akin to Taliban and al Qaeda killing each other. We should be so fortunate - no tears were lost by me.

And then during our first weekend here, the big news was the car bomb triggered in Juarez (can't pronounce Juarez without "War").

Perhaps coincidentally, less than two weeks after the Nogales incident (but before the latest in war-zone-esque Juarez), the State Department issued yet another travel advisory in Mexico. I'll outline some highlights of this lengthy report:

Common-sense precautions such as visiting only legitimate business and tourist areas during daylight hours, and avoiding areas where criminal activity might occur, can help ensure that travel to Mexico is safe and enjoyable.

Continued concerns regarding road safety along the Mexican border have prompted the U.S. Mission in Mexico to impose certain restrictions on U.S. government employees transiting the area. Effective July 15, 2010, Mission employees and their families may not travel by vehicle across the U.S.-Mexico border to or from any post in the interior of Mexico...This policy does not apply to employees and their family members assigned to border posts (Tijuana, Nogales, Ciudad Juarez, Nuevo Laredo, and Matamoros), although they may not drive to interior posts as outlined above.

And finally, the one of most interest to me:

Travel is permitted between Hermosillo and Nogales, but not permitted from Hermosillo to any other interior posts.

Not sure if your familiar with the Mexican map, but there is nothing of interest along the road between Nogales and Hermosillo. We can't drive east or south due to this most recent travel advisory. Fortunately, we can still go west to the beaches, but I imagine we are one incident away from losing that privilege as well.

As a reference, I've brought back this Mexican crime map from an earlier post. Sonora, the state we live in now, is the big yellow one in the upper left. Working your way right, you have the more dangerous, reddish states of Chihuahua, Coahuila de Zaragoza and Tamaulipas. The yellow state south of Sonora is Sinaloa, which probably has been upgraded to reddish now.

One of the other diplomats pointed out that this city has become very isolated and hard to get in and out of. Welcome to Hermosillo, Africa.

Hermosillo itself is not that dangerous in terms of drug-trade-related crime. The city has your typical big city petty crime such as pick-pockets, burglary, etc. Some one told us it used to be the case that the drug lords had an understanding of sorts to keep the drug fighting out of this city because many of the lords have families in Hermosillo. Sure, let the thugs off each other in other parts of Mexico (Juarez), but let's not let it effect our families. But even that understanding is starting to wear off as there has been some drug-related violence here.

In my last post I lavished praise on our house. And I do love this house. But what I saved for today is that these homes are designed to keep intruders out, which has the flip effect of being difficult for us to get out.

I don't want to go into too much details about the security measures here for fear that could upset some of the government types, but we have bars in our windows and doorways. We have spikes and nasty barbed wire on walls. We have security systems. We have secret handshakes. We don't mess around when it comes to security.

Mi Casa es muy Awesome!

The Internet is up courtesy of the good people at TelMex (and the very rich Carlos Slim, a catchy name) and a little up from Natalie's sponsor. I assume this goes for all posts, but the posts assigns a sponsor to help with the moving in process and another to help with the moving out process.

See, I'm already getting distracted with side stories. So much to relay, but for now, let's focus on the house.

Apparently, Hermosillo post housing is suppose to be some of the nicer housing for diplomats. No complaints here. We arrived to find three bedrooms, three and a half bathrooms (sort of), a kitchen, dining room, living room, greeting room (foyer?), garage, laundry room, reading room, walk-in closet, garden room and what we believe to be a live-in maid quarters. Until this past Thursday, we always lived in one-bedroom apartments together.

Before we really get into the tour, first it is time to discredit some fool's knowledge.

MYTH NUMERO UNO:
There are no carpets in diplomat homes in Mexico, so buy rugs unless you want to walk around on tile floors all day.


False. We were pleasantly surprised to find a lot of carpet in our home including in the foyer, dining room (above), master bedroom, the reading room and Natalie's walk-in closet. The only downside of so much carpet is that it might be difficult to find space for the huge rug we bought before moving out.

MYTH NUMERO DOS:
Bathtubs don't exist in Mexico.

False. The bathroom attached to the master bedroom has a bathtub/shower.

MYTH NUMERO TRES:
There is little to no grass in Hermosillo.

Partially false. There definitely is very little grass around here, but we managed to score a backyard that does have grass. At one time, more of the diplomatic housing around here had grass, but after years and years of diplomats failing to take care of their yards and not hiring someone to do it, the landlords started to pave over the yards.

In addition to grass, we love that our backyard has a palm tree, a pink-flowered bush that attracts humming birds, and a built-in, out-door grill. We bought some tiki torches as well.

One of the challenges about living in a new home - especially a home you know you have to give back in two years - is making it yours.

One thing we did was take the bed out of one of the two guest bedrooms and turn it into a study. And now we have one guest bedroom with two twin beds in it.

We also converted the maid's quarters into a room for Tiffy's stuff. Even if we needed a live-in maid, I couldn't imagine asking him/her to live there. There are no air conditioning vents making the room very warm, and the attached bathroom has a toilet and shower but no sink (the sort-of whole bathroom). Granted there are plenty of sinks around the house, but the one person who should have clean hands would be the live-in maid.

We still have a lot to do to make this house our home, but that will have to wait until our ground/surface/sea shipment (EF'M no longer recognizes the term HHE) arrives. For example, the television room is used more for now to house our empty boxes, the kitchen, while huge, doesn't have any of my gadgets in it, we have no pictures, and we just haven't lived here long enough to make this feel like our home as opposed to guests.

Internet Withdrawal

So we made it. It is as hot as advertised in Hermosillo.

It's way too early to comment on the city as I've seen very little thus far. Thursday, the day of our arrival, was filled with a long drive south through Mexico, which really didn't look too different than from southern New Mexico and southern Arizona. By the way, the scenery in the southern part of those states can be very pretty - from a distance. Once you are in the middle of the brush, it isn't so attractive. But then you look further down the road and see the mountains, and it looks pretty again. And then you get there, and it is all brush. So the scenery is pretty from a distance. Perhaps that should be their mottos - "Southern New Mexico and Southern Arizona, Pretty from a Distance."

The biggest difference on the drive are the topes, which roughly translates as "hazardous, mountainous speed bumps on the highway." The highway is a dangerous drive not just because there is the threat of cartel hooligans, but because there are some hazardous turns, no shoulders, and the topes, which are even more dangerous at night.

After the drive, we reached our home, which was an overwhelming experience. There were a few Americans there from the office to greet us as well as a few Friends Supporting Nicely (FSNs) who unloaded our air freight (EF'M no longer recognizes the term UAB) in our living room. Lots of activity as God's Servent Overseas (GSO, who also was the one who escorted us from the border, not the secruity officer as I falsely reported before) explained the security features; Tiffy was running all over the place; boxes were being unloaded; and, oh yeah, I was taking in the new home. It is a great home though - a huge step-up from the couple of one-bedroom apartments we've lived in. I'll write more on our home later.

Everyone then left as we unloaded our car, got cleaned and then went out with most of the American officers for tacos. I feel a little guilty because we are surrounded by tacos, which I like, but not nearly as much as others might.

I was busy all day Friday unpacking, and then we attended a baby shower for one of the FSNs and had more tacos. Saturday was spent grocery shopping and picking up a few other odds and ends. And finally, Sunday, today, I got a taste of the Internet.

The biggest change thus far has been the lack of Internet. It isn't just about blogging, either (sorry faithful readers). I miss e-mail. I miss reading sports columns. I really miss sports in general. I miss updating my fantasy baseball roster (though my team seems to be doing fine without me).

And now that I'm in Mexico, the Internet will be playing an even greater role in my life as it will serve as a phone as well. I plan to Skype more with my family and friends. I'm going to hook up a Magic Jack to do work.

But alas, we are still some time away from getting the Internet to our home. Currently, I'm relying on the bread crumbs that fall from the tables of other American diplomats and their generosity to muster up enough time to put this blog entry together.

I hope this update is enough to hold you over for a little bit, as I'll likely go back into hibernation for a few days (or longer, gasp) until we get the Internet.

Cleaning Up before Hauling Out

Our current, temporary, hotel residence offers two major pluses for us. It is pet-friendly (sort of) and very close to our old apartment residence.

That is critical for two more reasons. We don't have to splurge on a parking spot at the hotel ($23/day), and we have a lot of cleaning to do to avoid cash penalties.

Other than on Independence Day, we've spent a couple of hours every day painting, scrubbing, brushing, mopping, spackling, vacuuming and did I mention scrubbing? It culminated into a five hour day yesterday in which we used so much chemicals, we should have been wearing HAZMAT suits.

Even though it was nearly 100 degrees, we had to open up the windows to get some fresh air. My nostrils were burning slightly. We were coughing from the inhalants from time to time. Both of us got a little light headed. Maybe Tiffy did, too, but she didn't let on.

Little work remains, including disposing of everything we aren't taking with us and cleaning out the fridge.

We very easily could have left the place in relative disarray and just pay the apartment overlords to clean it for us, but several factors made that not even an option ever discussed.

For one, we gave them so much rent money already, the thought of giving them more invoked a gag reflex. Secondly, we both come from penny-pinching families, so it is hard to be wasteful. Finally, there isn't a whole lot for us to do anyway. We've seen the sites, several times, and this is just a better use of our time.

One final, unrelated note. After we start our road trip west on Friday, I'll have unreliable Internet access for the next few weeks until we get settled in Mexico, so posts will probably be more sporadic than usual, which is part of the reason why I'm knocking a bunch out right now.

EFM: Escaping Fiscal Madness

Apparently there has been some sort of housing bubble burst the past couple of years.

We haven't been property owners, land hunters, homeowners, etc., so other than noticing a few more "For Sale" signs during Tiffy's excretion expeditions, and a lot of news coverage, the housing market has not affected us.

That kind of changed yesterday. We received a notice from Charles E. Smith's henchmen stating there is a situation with our lease for which we need to meet with someone in management to discuss.

So we go down to the lobby and meet with a manger fresh out of college who also was visibly nervous. We go into an office, and he starts into an explanation that there is going to be a significant rent bump for us when our lease ends and it is because more people are moving into apartments to get out of the housing market, etc.

He was flushed; he was struggling with his words and computer program has he was looking for the data pertinent to our lease. So I nudge Natalie to tell her to put an end to this and tell him we're leaving anyway. Natalie, the sadist, was content to watch him squirm a little longer. I think he was relieved to find out we didn't really care about the rent increase.

We have been fortunate in that our lease is scheduled to end right about the same time we are suppose to move. Obviously, I didn't plan this out because it never would have worked this well. And if Natalie were to come up short of scoring a 3/3 on her Spanish exam and we need to stay a month longer, the Smith henchman agreed to keep our current rent rate in tact for us.

So what would the damage have been if we were not in the foreign service? Well, we probably would have commenced a search for a new apartment. They were going to up our rate by $300 per month ($400 for a new resident). Taking utilities into account, we would have been paying in the neighborhood of $2,000 per month for a one-bedroom, 1,800ish sq. ft. apartment in Crystal City.

To put this into perspective, that is about $48k per year for shelter. That is a salary, or more, for many people! Before I moved to D.C., I was renting a trailer in southeast Ohio, with two bedrooms, one bath and a large kitchen, for $365 per month.

Suddenly a free house in Hermosillo, or anywhere in the world for that matter, is very appealing (thank you, taxpayers!).

EFM: Evaluating Future Mansion

We got our Hermosillo Housing Questionnaire today!

At this point, this whole moving thing should start feeling more real, but I guess I'm just too blasé about, well, everything for this to get me excited.

Most everything on the form is the nuts and bolts about who we are, what we have (dog, car) and when we'll be there.

Then we have two open-ended sections. The biggie, I assume, is this one:

I. Please identify your weighted housing priorities. For example, if “largest living space” is more important than “playground for children,” you may choose 80% “largest living space” and 20% “playground for children.” The total should be 100%.

Those are the only two examples of phrases, so at this point, we're faced with the challenge of not knowing what we don't know.

So, yes, I'd like to enlist some help from the foreign service veterans for a little guidance. What little surprises did you get when you arrived at your new home? Have any buyer's remorse wishing you had listed something in that section you wanted, only to find it wasn't there because you just assumed it would be in your home?

One example I've heard is a dish washer, though that one isn't too important to me. And at this point, it is probably too late to list "not in Mexico 100%." (Sorry, that was a cheap shot, but I just can't help myself at times.)

I'd love to hear any one's thoughts, horror stories or love stories.