Familiar Faces in the Crowd

This might be hard to believe, but it can be pretty difficult to keep a low profile while broadcasting your life experiences on the Internet. Shocking, I know. This is the kind of analysis you can't find any where else but here.

But I get that deer-in-the-headlight look every time someone says "I read in your blog..." Wait? You mean not only were you aware it exists but you wasted your time by reading it?

I've said it before, and it is worth repeating, but I like writing for a faceless audience much more than writing for my friends, family, neighbors and colleagues. In short, I like to write without really having any accountability.

Which creates some interesting scenarios now that I am living amidst some of my readers (I use that term loosely, more like, people who know I have a blog and have stopped by on occasions probably to make sure I didn't reveal too much about them). It also makes it a little harder to write some of theses postings, such as when I might have bemoaned a favorite topic of conversation, or when I advertised to anyone who would listen that my culture adaptation process finds me in the dumps on occasions. I mean, I don't need people looking at me like I'm broken or something.

I don't make it a point to tell people here that I blog - quite the opposite, actually. But alas, I know some people here do know, and I can only assume others have caught wind of it. It's my own personal policy to not include names or pictures of anyone else to let them enjoy their privacy, but I can't help but wonder if knowledge about my blog and fear that something might get said on it might cause some to behave slightly different when I'm around.

Many of you have been doing this longer than me: writing about your life in the foreign service. Do you let others know about it? What kind of reception do you get? Do you find yourselves holding back because you don't want to offend colleagues? I'd be very interested to here some of your tales about blogging about life abroad while the relatively small American communities we live in are both readers and players.

EFM: Elated For Milestone

Jan. 5 seems like a long time ago. But back then, about six and a half months ago, EF'M made its first appearance on the Internet. On this day in July, we celebrate the 100th post.

Traditionally, television shows would take the 100th episode off and just go through a clip-reel of past season highlights. But not here. No, sir. Nothing but new material.

In the spirit of celebration, I'll provide recount of Friday night - our first night out on the town in Hermosillo.

It all began innocent enough. We went out with a group of six other Americans to see a movie at the new theater in the new mall, only months old. It is a VIP cinema, so all of the seats are leather recliners, and they provide a wait staff to take food and drink orders.

An okay movie and just an okay overall experience. But at the price of less than $9 per ticket, I don't think I'll ever be able to attend a movie in the States again. Not even a matinee.

The other interesting part was watching an American movie - "Knight and Day," or in Mexico, "Encuentro Explosivo," which definitely is not a literal translation, though I give them credit for coming up with a better, more appropriate title - with Spanish subtitles. My Spanish is beyond bad, but even I could pick up on some of the unintended humor provided by the brief, simplified subtitles. For example, every curse, which pretty much was just "shit" was translated as "diablos." Diablos, of course, means "devils." Also, through out the entire movie, an incredulous Cameron Diaz is constantly saying "Oh my God." Translation: "cielo" or "heavens." But otherwise, I could see how watching enough movies and television with Spanish subtitles could be a helpful way to improve my Spanish.

Moving along, at this point, about half of the group called it a night, while the rest of us went out to a restaurant near the Consulate aptly called Casa Centenaria (a terrible Web site, by the way). Aptly named because of how it coincides so neatly with this my 100th posting. I couldn't have planned this myself.

The food was good, and for American standards, very inexpensive. I have been aching to have some authentic Mexican mole, but I probably should have stuck with this region's specialty and ordered a steak. That I will do next time.

But what really makes this place a gem is the atmosphere, which they fail to promote on the Web site. It was a little warm, but we sat in the walled-in, outdoor patio section, where they had a live jazz band, which was really good, especially the drummer. And I don't particularly care for jazz. And when they were taking breaks, they had a large screen projection of American music videos, which was mostly 70s and 80s rock. The highlight was a Muppets rendition of Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody." This is required viewing.

Casa Centenaria also has an incredible selection of cocktails that always came out beautiful, as you can see them in Natalie's hand. I stuck to beer, however, because I got burned at the theater trying to order a beer, or at least what I thought was a beer that I had never tried before, and instead I got a beer-clam juice-tomato juice cocktail. Yuck!

Now it is starting to get late, and a few more of group head home leaving us with Natalie, myself, and one of our neighbors and we decide to go find a club. He took us to a relatively new place he had been wanting to check out, so we went to Classico.

Ladies get in free, and there was a 100-peso (12 pesos = $1, approximately) for the men, and we all got patted down and Natalie's purse was checked. The place was fairly dead, but due to the no cover situation, the women greatly outnumbered the men. And while I'm a married man, I don't mind saying more single American men need to visit Sonora.

There was a mixture of American and Latino music and is another place I'm sure we will go to again. The people were so friendly to us, especially one couple that came over and started talking to us in English (though the music was so loud the man might as well have been speaking in Spanish). He apologized for the club being empty saying Hermosillo usually isn't this boring but there was a big event going on this weekend at San Carlos, a beach a little more than an hours drive away. Then later in the night he tried to improve my poor dancing when I reminded him I'm a gringo. "There is no white here," he said. When you consider the current climate of American-Mexican relations with the Arizona racist approach to curbing illegal immigration, the Hermosillians I've met have earned high marks in civility.

But like all good things, the night had to come to an end at 2 a.m. when things close. And post number 100 is in the books. Here is to hoping I don't get canceled before post 200.

One Thing I Know (and a few thoughts)

Hand me a stone tablet; I have some information ready to be etched down.

On second thought, I've never used a chisel. The Internet will have to do.

We scheduled our pack-out day, and now I can lay claim to real knowledge as opposed to fool's knowledge. I know what day the movers are coming for our things.

Which, of course, could cause a problem. Because while we know when the contractors will bring the boxes, we don't know if Natalie will pass her Spanish exam on the first go around. We have a pretty good idea, but what we don't know.

It kind of makes me wonder who is writing the policies and guidelines of being a foreign service officer. I hope it is not the same people who are writing the policies and guidelines of foreign diplomacy.

By now, the world knows my disdain for the acronyms used during the moving process (I'm looking at you, UAB and HHE). Well, here is yet another aspect of moving that doesn't make any sense. Why do we need to schedule a pack-out day before we know when we are leaving (OK, we have a date, but it also is dependent on passing Spanish)? How does this make any sense?

I suppose "putting the cart before the horse" isn't considered a warning to proceed in logical order; rather, it is considered an instruction manual.

Anyway, I'm glad to have knocked out one practice run (at a friend's expense), so hopefully our turn will go smoothly...I think I just heard the collective foreign service community chuckle.

We do have the advantage of filling a car with the really, really important things, and we are in the process of adding a roof-top cargo container and rack on our compact sedan to compensate for the loss of our backseat for transporting Tiffy.

House Keeping Note:
When I first started this blog, I spent some time looking for other blogs to follow, and then added a few as they found me. In other words, I got lazy and content. While not necessarily one of my aims when I got started, I learned quickly that the foreign service has an extensive blogosphere, and it is a great way to learn from others and make contacts.

So I've added a lot of blogs to my follow list, and I figure that will continue to grow over the next few days. I'm mostly only adding and following other Entertaining, Functioning Manuscriptists (EFM-written blogs that get updated with some regularity...maybe an acronym was a bad idea there).

A special thanks to Life After Jerusalem for keeping such an extensive and well-organized list of bloggers. She provides a great tool for following other bloggers.

Unsolved Mystery

I'm sure most all of you are aware by now of the bizarre disappearance of A Daring Adventurer, aka Kolbi, considering other, more-widely read bloggers already commented on the noticeable absence.

We've all come accustomed to letting ADA to all of the hard groundwork for us during the week as she compiled lengthy Friday reports of what every active foreign service blogger was sharing that week. If ADA does not return, this will be a service that will be sorely missed.

But even more than that, ADA made this blogging ring feel more like a community as her weekly roundups did a great job of bringing other bloggers to light but each other's web sites. I think it is safe to say that we all hope whatever happened was only a temporary set back and ADA will be up and running again soon, for purely selfish reasons.

It is worth noting all peculiar the sudden disappearance of such a well respected blog was. Not only did Friday come and go without the weekly update, but the ADA web site is gone altogether including past submissions. As others have noted, her e-mail address, which was connected to that web site, returns e-mails as undeliverable.

What also makes this abrupt ending so bizarre (even more bizarre than the ending of Sopranos) is that no one had any reason to suspect the end of ADA up to Wednesday at least, as she put out her regular call for submissions for the Friday round up. I had exchanged a couple of e-mails with her on Wednesday to talk about learning Mandarin as I had told her I took a few years in college and, as we know, she and her family will be posted in China.

If you are reading this, Kolbi, we hope you and your family are well, and we hope for the return of your blog. If, for whatever reason, you are unable to re-continue blogging, please know we all thoroughly enjoyed and appreciated the grand rounds.

A Friday Two-fer

Yesterday was a busy day, so you're getting two items for the price of one!

Pack-out Practice
I did our good friend Al (from the cleverly named "You Can Call Me Al" blog) a favor by letting the movers come in his place and start packing while he was at Frustrating Scheduling Inconvenience (FSI). I also did Al the disfavor of not knowing what was going on, and thankfully he arrived before it was too late.

Without going into too much detail, let's just say his summer clothes wouldn't have arrived a little later than his winter clothes, and he is going to Belize in a few weeks. I doubt hilarity would have ensued, but at least he will have three ice scrapers! (Al, three ice scrapers for Belize?)

Being a local hire, I haven't had the benefit of experiencing a pack-out yet, so this was a good trial run for me, and fortunately, Al was able to correct my mistakes.

That said, the obvious flaws of the system were apparent. The terms UAB and HHE are grossly inefficient. The movers just want to get everything in boxes, and with a couple of them working at once against one inexperienced me, I was destined to do a shoddy job. Sorry Al, and I think it only fair that when Natalie and I visit you in Belize, we will pack some winter clothes, too.

Also, don't bother stocking up on aerosol cans and cleaning supplies, but the movers can't pack that stuff.

Hermosillo Group Re-convenes, sort of
Back in February, a sizable contingent headed to Hermosillo met for lunch so we get all spend a little time to get the first greetings out of the way.

Yesterday, we reconvened with a few exceptions. We lost some members who have left already for post, and we picked up a few newbies. And thirdly, one of our members got transferred to Merida. Obviously, life isn't fair.

I was blind-sided a little when one of the new faces announced that she reads EF'M (thanks for the reference Travel Orders.) I've enjoyed blogging so far, but largely, I've been writing to a faceless audience. For me, at least, it becomes more daunting as I meet readers. I think I hold back a little when I know someone can call me out.

If nothing else, at least we appear to have a good group assembling in Hermosillo. It's only been a single meeting in most cases, but everyone seems pleasant enough, and I'm not just saying that because I know at least one might stop by and read this...or am I? You'll never know, now that I might be pulling a few more punches!

Blogging about Blogging

I realize most of you don't care about college basketball, the Naranjeros or the comparing and contrasting of Mount Vernon and Monticello.

I knew this when I wrote those pieces, and the general lack of comments left behind after them confirmed this.

Yet, I'll continue to post occasionally about college basketball, particularly after the University of Kentucky Wildcats win the championship in a couple of weeks, my experiences watching the Naranjeros when that day comes and whatever tourist destinations inspire me to write.

Sorry, but it is going to happen. Part of my rationalizing for this kind of decision making is that I'm selfish. To borrow from our good friends at The Perlman Update, "I write because it's cheaper than therapy."

The other reason I selfishly write about topics I know you don't care about is that if this blog gets boring to me, then I won't post as often, or at all. Also, blogging will feel more like a job, which will result in some poorly written postings that I'm throwing together for the sake of writing something.

I came to this realization after several incidents where Natalie would suggest something that happened would make for a good blog posting. Maybe it would; maybe it wouldn't. But I didn't find those events to either be interesting enough to me, or within the scope of what I try to blog about, chiefly what it is like to be married to a foreign service officer.

One of my favorite sports columnists, Bill "The Sports Guy" Simmons of ESPN, oftentimes will write about the NBA. If I read any of these columns, which I usually don't, I skim through them quickly. Other Sports Guy readers complain he writes too much about the NBA, and I was inclined to agree. I'd much rather read his thoughts on baseball, football or popular culture.

It wasn't until turning down Natalie's blog-topic suggestions so many times that I gained a little appreciation for what Simmons must deal with on a daily basis from a larger audience. Sure, it might be a good idea, but I'm going to write about what I want to write about because if the topic isn't interesting to me, then how can I write it in a way that is interesting to anyone else?

So keep writing about the NBA, Bill Simmons. I likely will continue to ignore those columns, but if writing those columns means you will continue to write fascinating, well-thought and entertaining columns about topics I do want to read, then by all means.

And so I ask you to be patient with me on some of my interests, so that when I do finally get around to writing about something that is of consequence to the larger Expat Friends of Mine (EFM) community, it will be a better piece.

Why Blog?

Recently there have been a couple of threads in a private Yahoo! Group about what kind of information should or should not be included in a blog about life as an FSO (either a Frightened and Suspicious Oversea'er or Fearlessly Serving Overseas, depending on the FSO) or spouse.

Obviously, I lean toward including everything, including first names, with one exception. That is, I will not include the names of any other FSOs, EFMs, MOHs or another government acronym without getting permission. Everyone is entitled to privacy, until they start blogging in public.

There also were comments made about being discrete about what the government provides its foreign service employees and families courtesy of tax payers.

Once again, obviously I don't agree with this advice. American citizens ought to know how their tax dollars are being spent. I cannot see a single downside to sharing information about use of tax dollars, and I welcome anyone to dissuade me otherwise.

But at the heart of many of the postings in these threads was why people post blogs anyway.

Many indicated they were doing so in lieu of filling friends' and family mailboxes with e-mail updates. Because it was for their eyes only, they would slap a password on the blog to keep it out of the public's hands.

I did send my link to my friends and family with a similar message that I will not being doing the mass e-mail thing and if they really want to know what is going on, then stop by my blog.

But instead of limiting my drivel to people I know, I decided to open my experiences to others. And so far, I'm glad that I have.

For one, I've been able to interact (on a limited basis) with others in a similar position as myself. It is nice to know others have gone through this already and turned out somewhat normal.

Also, I know that some readers have been directed to this blog by searching for terms related to being an eligible family member. I can't imagine they walked away with much at this point, but I hope potential or recent EFMs will find this blog once I'm able to start sharing overseas experiences.

Pretty much the only EFM the uninitiated have to relate to, especially since there has been a recent movie, is Julia Child. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that many EFMs do not have a similar experience of becoming a wildly successful chef and live in Paris.

So the reason I blog, other than for vanity, is to try to be helpful. And I imagine that is why others blog publicly as well. Yes, we need to take some precautions when we are living abroad to not share too much personal information about where we live, and using a little tact (not that I do) doesn't hurt, but otherwise, type away bloggers!