Upon Further Review...Face to Face with the Monster

I'm not the type that feels it is necessary to get in the last word. But after reading everyone else's better thought-out responses to my initial post, I felt the need to redeem myself.

I hear you all loud and clear about the facebook monster. And before I try explaining my bizarre views on the topic, I thought I'd break the ice first.



In that video, I'm Darryl, casually remarking how scary bookface is. And all of the commenters are Jim, casually rebutting that there isn't any reason to be afraid.

First, let me state that I've had a little of Kool Aid. Recently, I joined LinkedIn, though I did it to gain access to the Trailing Spouse Network. (Thank you, DiploLife, for the link.) Which, by the way, also had an interesting discussion about "trailing spouse," but not as good as the one at Life After Jerusalem.

(And to minnesotagal, one down, one to go to fulfill your prediction.)

I suppose I should go back and insert that while this is a blog about being an Expat For the Misses (EFM), I'm still stateside. I'm writing from the perspective of someone who is getting ready to go to his first overseas posting. Consequently, I've never been deprived of the Internet (well, at least since high school). I can't really comprehend a life in which I can't still down, fire up the computer, and shoot out a few e-mails as quickly as I can type them and hit send.

Consider me a social experiment of how an isolationist will change his perspective once he really feels isolated.

I also drew from the comments listed in my original post the difference between the facebook culture and the facebook utility. The facebook monster isn't a Web site; it is the culture of constant updates, embarrassing photos, spying on friends, and spying on non-friends, but you made them your friend so you could spy on each other. And seeing how many friends you can, etc. (Real quick, one of my friends on facebook put his settings on Pirate, which would be an entertaining enough reason to create a profile.)

The utility of facebook is connecting to lost contacts and reaching all of your friends and family with one simple posting. Though I still contend that there probably is a reason why contact was lost with these former acquaintances, and you still need the Internet to post anything on facebook, right? If so, in theory, you could still send an e-mail, right?

I suppose once I see that facebook is more proficient and effective than e-mail, then I'll probably take the plunge. The problem I have is that facebook seems like making your e-mails public. And I'm much too concerned about my own privacy to do it that.

Another Weekend, Another Dateline

BOSTON - If I had a twitter account, I suppose I would say something like: "workin in boston. gr8 city, but 2 cold n April. miss DCs 90s already" (though that would be a lie; I am going to die in the Hermosillo heat).

And if I were on the facebook monster, and saw one of my friends posting this, I'd probably hit whatever buttons send this message: EF'M likes it.

Isn't online networking connecting us! (By the way, I refuse to recognize online networking as social networking, because I think this is an oxymoron...there really isn't any socializing going on.)

Alas, I'll move on. I'm in Boston covering a five-day long eye surgeon conference, and back when I was a full-time employee, these were the highlights of the year. Big city, expensive hotels, food allowances, time off from walking Tiffy, and daily deadlines. Adds up to a great change of pace from the dull office life.

A couple of years ago, this was my idea of traveling. I'd cover at least two conferences every year, usually in Chicago or San Francisco though I've been to most of the largest cities in the country for these conferences including New Orleans (post-Katrina), Las Vegas, San Diego, Atlanta and now Boston.

The real treats were the rarer international conferences, which sent me to London and Jamaica.

I thought I was spoiled to get to go to these locations. Now it all seems a little dull. I spent the past five years getting to see the country through work, and now I'll get to start seeing the world through Natalie's work.

When I started with this magazine, I really never knew what cool things I would see in the different cities of this country. And that was kind of exciting. Especially on the first day of arriving in that city. Of course, there also were the times when I realized I forgot to bring my hotel information or my dress socks or the time I got food poisoning or some sort of nasty virus and ended up in a hospital in downtown SanFran with an IV drip in a bed next to woman on a crack high or something complaining about a broken leg. So it wasn't always great either.

I get to experience that excitement again on an entirely different level as I can't even began to anticipate what will await us in Hermosillo, let alone where ever we get sent to next. At the same time, the trepidation also is exponentially greater as well as forgetting dress socks seems to pale in comparison to some of the other hardships I've seen in the news or read in other blogs.

Boston is my U.S. city victory lap; my final conference hurrah. There are still some regions I'd like to visit and sites I'd like to see, but when it comes to the United States, I feel like I can say, "Been there, done that."

EFM: Evading the Facebook Monster

While catching up on reading the blogs listed in the left-hand column, I saw on another blog that I was six days old. Oops!

Truth is I've been busy entertaining as my mother was in town for a few days, and I'm getting ready to be in Boston for almost a week for work (first time I've used the phrase "for work" in a long, long time...and I don't like it).

But while it says I've been absent six days, it really has felt much longer than that. I'm out of rhythm. And I don't know what to write about as I've also been out of the foreign service loop for most of a week.

So I've decided to ease myself back into the routine by bringing back my old nemesis, technology.

Going all the way back to day one, I've been outspoken of my hesitancy to embrace technology. It's nothing personal against technology; it's just that the new stuff tends to be expensive and doesn't really seem to offer that much benefit for the price. When the latest and greatest becomes more mainstream and more affordable, that is when I make my move.

facebook (with a lowercase "f") is free. But you won't find me on it. Ever. I'm not on Linkedin, either. Yet. twitter (with a lowercase "t"; what is it with online networking and fear of capital letters?)? Forget it. No chance in hell.

I don't get these Web sites, especially the lower-cased duo of facebook and twitter. Linkedin at least feigns some professional usage, and between that and the fact there is a foreign service spouse network thingy, I can see myself joining.

twitter is the bane of my existence. Does everyone who uses this service suffer from such illusions of grandeur that they think their friends/family/unknown followers care about what they are doing every moment of the day?

As for the facebook monster, I think it is the gateway drug to twitter. The cult of celebrity has made us all too willing to overexpose ourselves on the Internet.

I do see a little irony that I bemoan the voluntary sacrificing of privacy and my writing a blog. But let's be honest. This blog is only a little about me. Other than a picture, limited biographical info and the fact that you can relate to me as a fellow foreign service spouse, you don't know much about me.

I stopped by facebook as I was writing this to steal a logo or something (it also has been a while since I've used any art). And I found this expression: "Facebook helps you connect and share with the people in your life." (Interesting they chose to capitalize facebook in this sentence; probably because it is the first word, or they don't adhere to their own style.)

Perhaps, but so does e-mail, phone calls, postcards, and <gasp> letters. If anything, I'd argue all of those other methods are better at connecting and sharing with the people in your life because you will be connecting and sharing while enjoying a little bit of privacy. A little privacy will give you the peace of mind to share more intimately than anything that ought to posted on the Internet.

What facebook is good at is allowing you to connect with the people that, more likely than not, you made the decision to disconnect from your life. Sure, sometimes that decision is made gradually overtime, but if you really wanted to keep in touch with your grade school crush, chem lab partner or a college acquaintance, you would call or e-mail occasionally. Right?

I've read enough of other's thoughts on facebook to know that many will disagree with my sentiments. And maybe when I'm living elsewhere and phone-communication is more infrequent, perhaps I might be swayed. For one thing, while many complain about parents finally learning how to use facebook, I think this actually is a benefit as fewer people are posting embarrassing and/or incriminating photos as in the early days.

Time will tell, but don't waste your time looking to friend me because as far as facebook and its ilk is concerned, I don't exist.

Cell Assistance

Once again, I bring my problems to you. Y'all did such a good job answering my Spanish question, I thought I see if you could help me out with my cell phone situation.

I think it is important to reiterate that while I'm amazed by technology, I find that it is generally over the top. To wit, I've never spent money on a cell phone; I've always taken the giveaway phone that comes with the plan. After all, why do I need a phone that acts like a camera, video camera and computer when I already have those devices?

As I will be switching to a freelance career soon, and moving out of the country in the not too distant future, it is time for me to get a new phone. So I'm looking for advice or insights.

I have only a few of specifications.

The first is that I'm buying a cell phone, not a portable computer (in other words, I'm looking to do this on the cheap). I'm going to be working from home, so there always will be a computer nearby anyway. And I don't do facebook or twitter updates; hell, I don't even do text messaging. Communication is easy enough already with e-mail and cell phones, and I'd rather someone actually put forth a modicum of effort to reach me.

The second is that I want a phone that lends itself to easy conversation recording. Before you start judging me and get creeped out, let me add that my line of reporting requires a little assistance. I once wrote an article that included the word "blepharokeratoconjunctivitis." For those of you keeping score at home, that is 28 letters, which still isn't quite as long as the 34-letter word "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious," but I think the b-- word should get some bonus points for having an actual meaning instead of being nonsensical. (And to prove I have too much time on my hands right now, apparently there is a raging debate about the longest word in the English language. Well, maybe not raging, but the fact that people debate this kind of stuff...insert your own punchline here).

I don't have a science background, so whenever a physician drops a gem like that one on me, it is nice to have a recording of the conversation to lean on. Especially because many of these doctors are talking to me in between operations and don't have time to provide much explanation.

The third, and final, criterion is that it needs to be a phone I can use outside of the United States.

I think that about covers it, so if you know anything about cell phones, using non-government-issued phones overseas (thanks, taxpayers) or anything that I should know about but apparently don't because I didn't say anything about it in this post, please let your voice be heard.

Celebrating A-100 Graduation

I wanted to post something today, but I was feeling lazy, so I’m dipping into past events as an excuse to post this surprise party video.

Since we’ve been married, Natalie has made it very clear that she wanted a surprise party, thus making it impossible to plan a surprise party for her birthday. Every year as her birthday approached, I’d be asked if she was getting her surprise party this year.

Fast forward to 2009 with her passing her oral exam, getting called into A-100 and getting our Hermosillo post, I decided I should do something a little special for her, so I chose this my chance to catch her off guard with a surprise party.

I decided to use the Sunday evening after the swearing-in ceremony because 1) it was short notice, so it had to be a Sunday so people could attend and 2) the ceremony provided an event to actually celebrate (though it really turned more into a post-Flag Day party, just a week after the fact).

After hacking into her facebook account and scrolling through her cell phone on this rare occasion it wasn’t in her hand, I was able to invite several hometown, high school, college and area friends, former work colleagues, family and some fellow 148th members to the tune of about 80 invitees altogether (about 40 arrived).

I told the lie of our apartment in association with a fictional local restaurant group was hosting a Taste of Crystal City-type event in our apartment’s party room, which she bought hook-line-and-sinker.

And I spent about a week preparing food and decorations, storing them at friends’ places and making up excuses about preparing lots of food to give to our friends as we got closer to the party.

There were several close calls, luck and lots and lots of assistance from others to pull this off right under nose, but as you can tell from the video, she definitely was not expecting this.

So without further ado, enjoy!



P.S. For some reason, the video seems to be interfering with the comments section. If you really want to leave a comment, you need to click on this post's title first. Then at the bottom of the page, the comment section springs back to life.