EFM: Emissary on a Free Mission

What's the biggest difference between serving as a tandem and being an Extra Freeloader in Mexico (EFM)? A second government paycheck.

OK, so the second paycheck would be earned through putting in hours at the Consulate, and I'd have to pass all sorts of tests, but whether I like it or not, I'm a diplomat. (And, yes, I know the feeling is mutual. Like it or not Americans, I'm representing you and your image down here. I apologize in advance for any lasting repercussions.)

EFMs are kind of like First Ladies in that way. We didn't really sign up for this job when we married our spouses, and the government didn't really get too much of a say in picking ideal EFMs to accompany their Formally Selected Officials (FSOs). The only screening they did on me was a background check and a medical test. Essentially, the only requirement to being an EFM is not getting into too much trouble and being disease free. (And who knows, they might not even care that much about those two criteria either. Anyone know of any potential EFM being rejected for medical reasons?)

Also like the First Ladies, how we fulfill our role is entirely dependent on our own ambitions. We can be Hillary Clintons and be - perhaps - too involved, or we could be Laura Bushs lead and be essentially out of sight.

That said, I'm not locking myself in the house and never making public appearances. And when I do go out, I am representing how Americans behave. And I stick out a bit, too, given that I have paler skin than most of the native Hermosillians, and that I also probably have a general look of confusion.

Some of us are better at this job than others. Take Novakistan (formerly Minnesota Gal) for instance. She does us proud in her job as a diplomat. These two stories - this one written by her, and this one written by her friend who was visiting - are some of the best things I've read from fellow foreign service spouses since I entered the fold. If you have time, you definitely need to read these pieces. If you don't, then stop reading this one and go check them out instead.

I don't have the language skills, yet, to be able to be that involved, but I did get to practice a little this past weekend doing some Beach Diplomacy.

There are two beaches near here - San Carlos and Bahia de Kino. From the best that I can tell, Kino seems to be more of the locals' beach whereas San Carlos is more "vacationy." While at Kino this past weekend, we - Natalie, one of her colleagues, and I - had a Frisbee with us. It wasn't the most effective toy with the wind making it difficult to throw, and when it went into the water, it sunk making it hard to retrieve. In short, it was a crappy Frisbee.

Near by, there were two young boys (both 6-9ish) playing in the sand. I think they were digging, but they didn't have any tools. They also didn't have any bathing suits and were just wearing their underwear instead. Natalie's colleague invited them into our game of throwing the Frisbee and looking for it in the Gulf after we inevitably missed it. They were loving it.

They left eventually, and we were getting ready to go our hut when a young girl (9-12ish) walked up to me - I was holding the crappy Frisbee - with a JuMex box in her hand and said "Hi," in English. A bit relieved that she spoke some English, I decided to test it. "Do you want to throw?" "Yeah," and then she handed her juice box to some and threw the Frisbee to Natalie's colleague. She threw a few more times before she started getting bored, or distracted, and then her little sister came over and we played with her some.

She was fascinating, and I'd love to have had more time to talk with her. But I did learn that she was born in Phoenix while her parents and older sister were born in Mexico, and that she had (or still does?) attended school in Tuscan. Her English was incredible, probably even better than some of her American contemporaries. But she also said it was her job to teach her parents and her sister English, too. Like I said, I would have loved to hear more of her story.

But the game ended and we went our separate ways. I'd like to think that the parents were watching and were thinking that those Americans aren't that bad after all. And I'd like to think that as those children get older, they'll remember playing with some Americans on the beach, and that we didn't have fangs or fences.

You'll never find me serving the United States in a Consulate or Embassy, but I'm just find deploying a little Beach Diplomacy here and there.

It Ain't All Bad

So last post was a bit of a downer. It was a hard decision to make as to whether or not I would make that post, because I didn't want to stir a pity party in my honor, and I didn't want to overly upset my family and friends.

By the way, thank you to everyone who posted their concern and offered some suggestions. It was much appreciated.

That said, I thought it was necessary to post that times aren't always great being a foreign service spouse. There are definitely challenges. And many people - at least it seems to me given some of the remarks I heard State-side - believe that it is a 24-7 vacation.

If that is your expectations or chief reason for entering the life of a foreign service spouse, then you are in for a rude awakening. It isn't all fun and games. But hey, when life (or your neighbor) gives you limons, then I say cut 'em up and add them to your beer. (Corona, we can talk later about trademarking. And to the rest of the Mexican beer companies, in no way is this an official endorsement of Corona. I'd be more than happy to accept advertising from the highest bidder.)

Those limons - ping-pong-ball-sized limes - were courtesy of our newest American expat neighbors who were fortunate enough to have a home with a limon tree in their backyard and kind enough to share their bounty. Blessed with a bag full of limons, we just had to buy some Coronas to go with them. Otherwise, this little fruit seems to be the favored flavor (trying saying that a few times fast - it was even difficult to type) to add to tacos.

I also get the irony in pointing out that the foreign service lifestyle isn't always a vacation when I spent today at the beach. So it isn't always a vacation here, but you can make it one from time to time.

Here is a quick little riddle for you? At Bahia de Kino, what does a roaming beach mariachi band and tiki hut have in common? Tick tock, tick tock...give up? They both cost 50 pesos (less than $4 USD).

That's me before in a true comedic, can't-catch-a-break moment, my chair broke and I landed on my butt in the sand.

So that's the hut. Then where is the mariachi band? Well, ladies and gentlemen, for your listening and viewing pleasure, I'm pleased to present to you one of the several beach-roaming, 50-peso-per song, all-Mexican Mariachi Muchachos (my name, not theirs).

Note to Blogger.com users: A little useful tip if you are uploading your own video. Start uploading the video first as you can type away while it uploads, which takes a very long time. Then, when you are done typing, go out and see movie. Then come home and take a nap Rip Van Winkle style. After waking up, get a bite to eat, and then wait about 10 more minutes to publish your post.

Or just upload it on YouTube and embed the link. For once, going through a middle man actually expedites the process.

Show & Tell: San Carlos

I'm not a big fan of simply relaying what activities I've been up to unless it can be used to illustrate life for any foreign service spouse. Today, I'm going against that general rule I put on myself.

I mentioned Hermosillo's isolation a couple of weeks ago and the fact that we can only leave the city driving north (to the U.S.) or west (to the beach). Over the weekend, we went west to San Carlos, or Sonora's Cabo San Lucas.

We drove down Saturday with a couple of Natalie's colleagues, and a scant hour and a half later, we were arriving. This can definitely be done in a day trip, and future expeditions will probably only be for a day, but we wanted the whole experience and booked a hotel room upon arrival.

Another early lesson from this trip was that bringing Tiffy wasn't the best idea. There is only one pet-friendly hotel that we're aware of, and it was not of the best quality. But at 450 pesos (a little less than $40), well, you get what you pay for.

We left Tiffy behind and went out to enjoy one of the private resort beaches for a couple of hours, which seemed like a good spot to snorkle, if we had the gear, before agreeing we needed to do a sunset booze cruise.



In addition to the sunset, we saw some of the islands and their caves in the Sea of Cortez, or the Gulf of California, depending on your preference.

The one-hour tour was BYOB (an acronym I'm fine with, by the way), and we made one mistake in trying something new. It was Sol, which is fine, but this was a lime and salt flavored variety. The taste was akin to take a beer can, dipping it into the ocean, and squirting some lime juice in. Fortunately, we also got some Tecate Light.

We went back to our hotels, cleaned up, had dinner and then went out to experience San Carlos nightlife. While there are a few bars and clubs, everyone seems to congregate at two or three establishments. After visiting some of the empty places (including one club in which there were five of us, five employees and no one else), we ended up at La Playa (the beach), which was a great choice. They serve cocktails in a jumbo styrofoam cups (perhaps the equivalent of three D.C. cocktails) for about 150 pesos (little more than $12), if I recall correctly.



We also did tequila shots (of course), though Natalie needed a little pep talk to take hers. Someone we met here is providing the encouragement. He is my favorite kind of Mexican - the kind that speak English. Though one of these days I'll be alright with the Spanish-speaking kind. Most every one in San Carlos, by the way, speaks some English.

The second day on the beach was Tiffy's first (and possibly last) beach trip. She enjoyed herself, but it is a lot of work to watch her as she would lay chase at any passing four-runner, or passing plane, or bird shadow. We were some of the first people to arrive, which worked out well because we could just turn her loose and wear her out before other people got there, and before it got too hot. By the way, not too bad for a dog that we got from a rescue shelter. Started in a shelter, and now she is an international traveler.



I don't think she particularly liked the water - not a big surprise. In the beginning, after Natalie and I would get in the water, she would want to come to us, but the waves (pretty big for the area, apparently) would scare her away.

Later in the day, when Natalie and one of her colleagues went out in the water, she finally mustered enough courage to make it out to her. Sadly, I didn't have the camera out. But she seemed to figure out that if she jumped at the first waves as they broke, she would stay above water and then have enough time to paddle her way out to Natalie. She did this once, Natalie caught her and carried her back to the shore, then she went back in.

Tiffy was upset about this, and about 10 minutes later, she went swimming back into the water. This time, Natalie was too busy listening to someone complain that his children couldn't get visas or American citizenship or something work-related (really, lie about where you work or say you're just visiting), so her colleague caught her. As she was beginning to bring Tiffy back, a large wave crept up behind her, and in an effort to keep Tiffy mostly out of the water while keeping her top on (I guess Tiffy's foot had caught it), she lost her sunglasses.

I started into the water as I saw the wave approach prepared to go grab Tiffy as I was sure she would be going under water. After the wave passed, I saw her paddling for her life as she made it back to land. Who knows how dogs think, but I'm fairly certain she was proud.



She spent the rest of the afternoon in the shade of her own personal umbrella, usually burrowed in the sand as well. The umbrella, by the way, was not intended for her exclusively, but we bought it at an Hermosillan Wal Mart. And just like in the United States, most things you buy at Wal Mart are a piece of crap. Cheap? Yes. Quality? Not so much.

Rainy Season in the Desert

How bad could it possibly be, right? Desert rain storm seems like an oxymoron, does it not? In fact, during our first two weeks here, all of which were during rainy season, we had a few drizzles here. Granted, there would be a heavy storm somewhere else in or around Hermosillo, but a few pop-up showers that effect a small area didn't seem like much of a rainy season. Well, then the storms came in full force.

We had planned on going to the beach today (about an hour west of here), but after two days of torrential, non-stop rain and a gloomy forecast, we nixed that idea. After all, it isn't like we can't go some other time, and being stuck in Hermosillo during a rain storm is one thing. But being stuck on the beach during a storm is entirely too depressing.

On Thursday, the rain started around 3 p.m.ish, and it was the most intense storm the city had seen in almost a decade.

That is our backyard taking a beating to the point it was a couple of inches under water. It uprooted one of our tiki torches. A while later, I looked in the backyard again, and it had started to float away. Not that it could have gotten too far in our prison, but I put on some flipflops and started after it, about ankle deep. In hindsight, that was a very bad idea considering all of the lightning and iron-rod gates in our yard. That could have been an embarrassing death notice - struck down by lightning while in ankle deep water retrieving a 60-peso (about $5) tiki torch. It probably would have secured a place on Spike's 1,000 Ways To Die.

Some of the thunder that accompanied the storm shook the house causing Tiffy to cower at feet under the desk. Usually, she barks at thunder and whimpers a little, but I guess these cracks were a little too intimidating to elicit much of a response other than genuine trepidation.

This city was not really built to withstand such storms. Apparently there is no underground sewer system, so the water just fills the streets causing several high-water situations. So bad, in fact, several Consulate employees (my wife included) hung out in the office past 6 p.m. to wait for the water levels to dip to a point that one of the SUV owners could take everyone home. Our car stayed by the Consulate that night.

It stopped raining eventually that night, but we woke up to more rainfall. It started off not terribly bad, but then picked up to a steady down pour that continued for about five or six hours. Fortunately it fell just slow enough to avoid all of the flooding issues.

As I mentally prepared for moving to Hermosillo, I was ready for intense heat. People here know how to handle heat. They just stay in doors. But epic thunderstorms was something that caught me a little off guard. I'm surprised to say that I think I actually prefer the devastating heat to the rain. At least there is somewhat of an option to leave the house during the heat. Sure, the temperature drops dramatically, but these rain storms truly leave you feeling sequestered.

This is the view of our flooded street from our garage door, which sometimes I have to open during the heavy rain to let the water out.